Caution. This post might be a bit controversial. It might even offend some of you. Or you just might be reading it, nodding all the way through and think that Frenchie Mummy is rocking it. Either way, you are warned. It’s at your own risk if you want to carry on!
‘Congratulations! You’ve been nominated for the Bloggers Blog Awards’ said my phone yesterday. This is my Twitter. It’s vibrating and I am busy with Baba. I put it back quickly to take care of mon fils. After all, being a mummy at home is my real job at the moment. Being a blogger is a pseudo-hobby. I call it that way because, soyons réalistes, I am obsessed with it! So it’s not really a hobby anyway.
I carry on with my mummy stuff, but I can’t wait for Baba to be finished. ‘Vite! Drink your milk petit singe!’ Maman has seen this tweet and now she is well excited. You know what I am talking about, right? It’s like when you receive an email from a super brand you love asking if you want to collaborate with them. You just feel like that:
Later on at night, le bébé is sleeping so maman can get on with her stuff and keep ignoring Grumpy Boyfriend who doesn’t care anyway. Too busy killing a dragon or whatever creature it is in his video game! So I can look at this tweet. So excited! But then…
La déception! I am not a finalist. It’s just a tweet to say that people voted for me (Whoever you are, merci! You have my eternal gratitude!). But I haven’t been selected to go through the next stage.
‘Please, could you also vote for us in the category NEW BLOGGER ON THE BLOCK by clicking on the following link?’ You remember seeing that message on my posts over the last month? Well, I didn’t make it. I checked the list of finalists. It made me giggle. Some people there have been blogging for 3 years or so. They are not newbie bloggers! They have thousands of followers. Ok, I am very disappointed. I thought I had a chance. It is not like I tried to win BiBs or something like that!
Raté! I now realise one important thing. Je suis un petit poisson. Yes, I am a very very little fish in the blogosphere.
It doesn’t matter if I have thousands of views each month and I receive the most lovely comments ever on my posts. I am NO ONE. And I have NO chance to win whatsoever anytime soon. Because when you think about it, the big fish win! Bitter moi? Yes, a bit. I must admit…
I had an interesting conversation about awards and getting votes with a fellow blogger some weeks ago. This person is great. Their blog is fab and they have been going on for years. And yet, nothing! They don’t believe in begging for some votes. Something I did without any shame over the last weeks, because I truly (naively?!) believed that I had a chance with that Bloggers Blog Awards.
Are blogs awards a patting exercise and a fame quest? I start wondering. Now, I feel like I have been kind of selling myself for some votes! I remember when I told Grumpy Boyfriend about it, he laughed. ‘You are selling your soul to the devil!’ He was not wrong.
And what for? To feel recognised, to feel important. Just for 5 minutes. Because whatever awards I may win (Or never! Very much more likely…), it won’t mean anything. It won’t make me a good writer. I am not, I am just playing silly!
I mean, seriously! Over the couple of days, I wrote about shitting myself over my first grey hair. I took the mick about Frenchie stereotypes. I described a lovely garden we visited. There are thousands in England! Who cares about this one in particular? I described how much of a bitch I can be sometimes (I am for sure). Does that make me a writer? Not really. I reckon I could have written this kind of things in a journal.
A notebook just to myself that nobody would ever read. So why did I feel the desire to start this blog? To be recognised. Because when I stopped my job as a teacher, the attention suddenly ceased. I was left out without a public to applaud me. And I needed a replacement. No more students to respect me or hate me. Whatever they felt about me, I had a reaction. I had their attention. That was all that mattered to me. Yes, I am an attention-seeker!
So I wanted this award and I missed it. And reflecting on it, I feel like I lost the purpose of everything. Who cares about a badge on my sidebar? Do I only want to be popular?
Having been blogging for about 3 months now, I really challenged myself. I discover about coding, Twitter and so much more. Why can I just enjoy those victories? And all those comments and kind words people gave me. They cried, they giggled and they laughed because of my blabbering. Isn’t enough?
God knows that I also experienced some other bad moments. I have been described as “a little girl living in London’. That made me laugh. This person was trying to be nice. But I thought to myself ‘I am not really a little girl’?. Or maybe they didn’t really read my blog and thought that Baba was a girl?
I have also been told that I was condescending. Yeah, a person literally said I was an idiot! That made me laugh too. Well, not at first! I reckon if I were in the same room as this person, I might have slapped them by accident… I told you before, I can be violent!
To get back to the Blog Awards thing… That was the point of this post in the first place really! It’s ok. I get it now. I am a little fish, swimming along, enjoying the warm water. Long live to all those little fish like me. Because they talk with their heart.
This post is for you, fellow petits poissons.
You are doing great and I love reading your posts! And to those big fish who are the winners, who make ‘little girls’ like me dreaming about getting 5 minutes fame. I love your posts too. You must have worked super hard to reach that point. I am not angry at you or jealous of your success. We don’t play on the same team. I am finishing my ego trip here. Because I am not that girl.
That’s it, folks. I finished my rant! The first one ever on my blog (And the last one I hope! That is not really the person I like being…). I would love to hear what you think about blogs awards and votes. After all, you are the ones that make them. Because you vote and you buy tickets to assist those events…