Guilt. We call it la culpabilité in Frenchie language.
I had many guilty moments since we had Baba. The time I dressed him up with totally unmatched colours and he didn’t look cute as usual. The other one when I dropped his dummy in some wine in hope that he would have a nap in the afternoon (I needed to blog so badly I was desperate!)
Yes, sometimes I do not cook wonderful meals and I feel bad about ordering a pizza. So bad indeed that I also get some ice cream (a full tub of Häagen-Dazs doesn’t scare Frenchie Mummy when Grumpy Boyfriend is out) and a good bottle of wine.
But you know what is the thing I am the most guilty about? Baba’s sleeping routine. Or the lack of it should I say? It’s just something we have not really nailed with Grumpy Boyfriend…
Here are some of my best successes with mon bébé:
- Making sure that Baba is a cutie, I can do.
- The bath time is one of his favourite moments of the day.
- Handling very dirty Frenchie poops has become my speciality over the last weeks.
- Dealing with him going to the hospital was not easy at first but I managed it in the end and even came up with a post full of tips for surviving such an experience.
- I can even blog like a pro with a baby who demands far too much attention sometimes! (Another post with my best tips is on my blog too!)
But sleeping time? C’est l’horreur in the Frenchie household! Just thinking about it is giving me an extra grey hair…
This baby doesn’t like sleeping! And I feel like it’s my fault.
When he was very little, I read a lot about it and the importance of good habits. ‘Give him a bath, then a nice cuddle while you read a book to your baby. Eventually, put him to bed giving him a kiss’. A fairy tale! Un conte de fées that is quite not happening for us. A book? Did you try to read a book to a 8 months old? I did and all Baba cared about was to eat the bloody livre!
The thing is, I bathe Baba at around 6pm every day. When it was time to implement a sleeping routine, I thought it was a bit early to put him to bed, especially when he was always having his last bottle at 8.30pm. And my mum agreed with me. ‘Just do it the French way.’ English people tend to have dinner quite early before 7pm (or am I wrong?). I thought that was why my health visitor told me to put him to bed at that time.
Grumpy Boyfriend and I always have dinner at around 8pm (sometimes even later). So to cut a long story short, I would not put Baba in bed before 8.30pm. Correction! To be totally honest, he would have his last bottle and then would fall asleep in my arms. I know that this was a massive mistake!
Now, evenings are a pain in the bum (to say the least…). I am dreading to get him to sleep. I tried to use some routines: give him some milk, sing him a lullaby (a made up song as Frenchie Mummy is not a very good singer) and then put him gently to bed).
He would start making a kind of a whinge, a weird noise that I can’t even describe. Then a louder roar and the cry, endlessly. It could last up to 40 minutes if I let him do so. He rolls over in his bed, ends up knocking his head and then c’est la tragédie! He screams so loudly that we have to put subtitles on to make sure that we follow on the movie we are trying to watch!
So I give up, pick him up and he stays up with us until he falls asleep either on the sofa or in his bouncer chair… Yep, that’s life. When you fail at doing something, well you get to endure the consequences…
All I am hoping for now is that we will not be struggling so badly to put Baba to bed once I am back to work in January. So this is my big #mumguilt; the thing I am not proud of as a super Frenchie mama.
What is yours? Do you also struggle to put your kids to bed? If so, please tell me it will get better! And if it’s not the case, just keep quiet or lie ludicrously!
P.S: the examples at the start of this post are totally fictive. I never ever gave some wine to my dearest Baba to get him to have a nap! I just bore him with cartoons on the laptop or sing with the worst voice ever some Frenchie songs from the 60s. Some part of me thinks that I am like a modern Brigitte Bardot or Vanessa Paradis!
This post was first written as part of the #mumguilt series that Claire from Now My Name is Mummy created.
I am sure we all feel guilty about something when it’s about our little angels. Feel free to contact the fabulous Claire if you want to take part in her genius but honest series.
And FYI, Baba is now better at getting to bed. Hurrah! ??
Oh dear, it gets better!!! Promise 🙂
I’ve always been a very flexible mum until they get a little older. As infants there’s so much going on developmentally that is hard. Routine helps but I am not a cry it out mom so I had to learn to just keep it dark and boring when they wanted to stay up later than I wanted. You’re doing great:-)
Thank you so much for saying that x
My daughter is having ups and downs with my 3 month old grandsons sleeping, I really feel for her even though she was a nightmare when she was a baby. Hope things get better soon xx
The words Mum Guilt caught my eye. I appreciate your candour and humour.
Yes, it does get better. Honest!
I trust you! Thanks for saying that. I hope you will come back x
Hi Cecile, haha, sometimes we Mums have to learn the hard way. Bedtime was not my favourite time fo the day with my first born. Made harder by the fact my husband worked in the evenings, so I was on my own. When my second one came along I made a vow to take no cr*p at night, and then the trouble stopped.
I am sure that when the time is right for all of you, it won’t be too hard to change routine,
I remember feeling guilty that I didn’t want my children to eat sugary stuff before the age of two (people thought I was a health freak – I’m not!). It was difficult especially when people thought they were being kind buying them a chocolate or ice cream. My theory was that if they didn’t haven’t it, they wouldn’t miss it. But it did make me feel bad at times.
Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.
He is precious! Bath time for babies are the best. I believe it calms them when they are crying. I know my friends baby loves bath time ((:
I think I have a lazy baby he loves sleep but we are trying for another and I bet you anything they will keep me awake all night. These small people are all different and there are tonnes of things I feel guilty about ha ha!
You bet so many things t worry about. Thank you so much for reading x
I feel mumma guilt all the time, usually about the stupid little things but the main one is not playing with Amelia enough. Between feeding max, blogging, linkys and just having 5 minutes alone time I feel like she just spends the day alone (she doesn’t of course and we have plenty of cuddles and play it just really doesn’t seem enough!) #brilliantblogposts
I know what you mean, but I am sure you are doing really well x
I feel #mumguilt all the time – sometimes it’s only once a day, others it’s a million times a day! Just being a mum automatically qualifies you for feeling guilty – are you spending enough time with your child, are you doing the feeding and sleeping routine the right way, did your child fall over and bang their knee because I was busy for 2 seconds looking the other way……
It really does get better I promise, you just have to figure out a routine that works for you x My biggest guilt is that I don’t spend as much time playing with my second as I did with my first ?
I am not surprised . I read a lot of mummies saying the same. I am sure you are doing a super good job! Thanks for reading x
Bedtime was never something that I worried about, we were always quite relaxed about bedtime when the children were babies and even now, it’s half nine and all four children are awake. It is what it is, when they start nursery/school they naturally become more tired and our issue now is that we can’t keep them AWAKE!! It gets easier, promise! #justanotherlinky
Babe- every single night…every single kid. Everything will shake out alright mama! Hang in there. You are doing great!
Bedtime is an arsehole! You’re not alone. My eldest girl didn’t sleep on her own. Ever. At all. My middle girl only slept on the sofa between 2 & 2.5.
As long as it’s right for you and yours, everyone else can do one! Hang on in there mama x
Merci! We are doing better, at least he is in bed by 8.30pm now… Thanks for reading x