Am I only a stay at home mum?

The other day, I met up with a couple of other mummies from work. All of them have a baby born around the same time as Baba. It was nice to see them and share our stories about birth, feeding and nappies.

One of the mums, who I also consider a good friend of mine, could not resist but talk about my blog. I invited her to like my Facebook page. I thought it would be nice to start spreading the word about my new hobby with my friends and colleagues. It was probably a way for me to taste the water and see some reactions about my new blogging obsession. Remember, Grumpy Boyfriend didn’t seem extremely over-the-moon about the whole thing. I just wanted to see what other people close to me would think about it.

My friend was very nice. Indeed, she was full of compliments. However, one of her remarks stuck in my mind and I can’t stop thinking about it. ‘Your blog is fab! It’s so funny you felt like you had to start something like that, while you were off work. I can’t believe you decided to do so. You could not resist, right?’ She had a point.

While I was still full-time (and over!) working as a French teacher in a secondary school, I used to whinge all the time about having no time for me. I put my hand up and admit. I would moan to whoever wanted to hear how full on this job was. I am not here to write about teaching and how this career has changed over the years. It’s not about the pressure we put teachers on. They have to constantly be at the top of their game: results, paperwork, performance management and more…

But I can’t stop thinking about my friend’s comment. Why did I feel the need to start the Frenchie Mummy Blog while on maternity leave? For once in my life, I would have had all the time I ever dreamt of. As long as Baba agrees with it of course… It means he has no tantrums or bobo that imply me cuddling or holding him. But, still. I could not be happy with it.

The idea of only being a stay at home maman was just horrendous. Yes, I admit it. I missed work at the start of my maternity leave. Even worse. While contemplating le petit monstre growing up fast, I started wondering if I made the right decision to stop working for a year.

The truth is I could not handle being labelled ‘mummy at home and proud of it’. During the first weeks at home, it was far from being the idyllic picture. Baba was sleeping a lot of the time and I found myself  with nothing to do but housework. Cauchemar! It didn’t mean that my house was tidier, though. Far from it. That’s why I decided to start my blog.


Even when people ask my occupation, I don’t really like saying that I am a ‘housewife’ or ‘homemaker’. Isn’t it weird? I am not saying that I am ashamed of it. As soon as I discovered that I was pregnant, I agreed with Grumpy Boyfriend that I will stay at home to look after le petit ange.

May I say that writing gives me some purpose and a lot of pleasure? Since I started this whole thing and saw the amazing reception from people, I must admit that I am happier. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the fact that I don’t have to get up at 6 o’clock and get ready by 7.00 am pretty much every day. Sometimes, I am not ashamed to even say that I’m still in my pyjamas at 10! Waking up with bébé, first biberon of the morning, then a bit of laundry or the kitchen needs to be tidied up and other things.


I know people say it’s the most amazing job. But I don’t want to only be a mummy! I don’t want to be the personal housekeeper in our home. I have some brains and I want the world to know about it!

Actually, you know what? I am not only a mummy. I am a partner, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a teacher (I haven’t given up on that, merci bien!). I am a successful woman who has been living in a foreign country for nearly a decade (yes, I know. I am not getting any younger…Don’t say anything). I am a nutter, a pseudo blogger and many other tags.

And yes, the Frenchie Mummy Blog might be just a way for me to escape and pretend I still get it. Or it may be a narcissist project. Mais j’adore ça! It makes me feel alive. It gives me the impression that I am a prosperous adult. It gives me a goal. But more importantly, it will be the best journal that will help me to remember what it was to join the ‘motherhood’ club.

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  1. Over Heaven's Hill
    June 14, 2016 / 2:23 pm

    I love this. It’s important to see yourself as more than just a mum. We need our identity too. Thank you for posting this

  2. June 15, 2016 / 8:49 am

    I’m always wondering who I am now. I feel like I’ve lost the person I used to be but maybe I don’t mind because I am a new version of me, a wife, a mum, a business owner. I never really had much staying at home as a mum – I was back to working at home within about a week of having my second – but while I think I’d like coffee mornings and play dates, ‘music with mummy’ and library story sessions, the reality is that most of the people I know run their own businesses and even if they are at home with their children a lot, they are cramming in work around the clock so I’m not sure there would be anyone to have coffee with! Blogging has made me remember that I can be more than a mum though and I need to keep working on my own ambitions and not always put everyone else first. My husband is not thrilled about me blogging either – he doesn’t like the ‘baring your soul’ thing but I’m finding it cathartic and creative! #BloggerClubUK

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 15, 2016 / 9:07 am

      thank you so much for commenting. I will be back at work in about 6 months. Part of me is dreading it as it would be a new journey with a baby to take care of. But the other part is saying ‘yes?’

  3. June 15, 2016 / 9:41 am

    I’ve been a stay at home mum for 5 years and although I have enjoyed it, I needed to do something else, something for me, and that’s why I started blogging and I’ve never looked back since. x #BloggerClubUK

  4. Sarah - Mum & Mor
    June 15, 2016 / 11:22 am

    I’m a stay at home mum and I really feel it’s important I have something for myself rather than just my daughter and the home. Blogging helps with that. I’m glad that my boyfriend is supportive of my writing and even encourages it. I’m not sure what my friends think, they haven’t said. #BloggerClubUK

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 15, 2016 / 1:09 pm

      you should ask them, I am sure they love it.

  5. June 15, 2016 / 1:40 pm

    I’ve been a stay at home mummy for the last 6 years, and I STILL dread the question, “What do you do?” I can hear the words tumbling out of my mouth saying “Oh I’m just at home with the girls at the moment, but I want to go back into teaching once they start school”. Every time I say it, I kick myself – I stay at home out of CHOICE, and yet I worry about what others will think of me if they know that, so I feel I have to justify myself by describing my long term career plan! Who else outlines their 5-year plan when they’re asked their occupation?! Hahaha no-one. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m ashamed of what I do – it is a life choice I have made, and would make every single time – it’s just that I know the stereotypical lazy, benefit-grabbing mums that people think of. I am neither of those.

    We all make our choices and you and I both need to be proud of our decisions and not worry what others think 🙂 #BloggerClubUK

  6. Cheryl @ Tea or Wine
    June 15, 2016 / 8:20 pm

    I’ve recently written a similar post about how mums seem to feel the need to have it all now and how it’s hard to simply say “I’m a stay at home mum.” I freelance, working from home, but in the quiet periods, I get frustrated at the lack of doing something other than “being a mum”, but I think it’s equally important to remember that our kids are only small for a little while and we need to enjoy them whilst we can! #BloggerClubUK

  7. twotinyhands
    June 16, 2016 / 7:01 am

    You are so right. Blogging gives you something a tad more than just mummy that gives us something a little bit more. I’m just ending my maternity now embarking on SAHM. I’m looking forward to it. #ablogginggoodtime

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 16, 2016 / 7:38 am

      good luck with it and enjoy it

  8. Over Heaven's Hill
    June 16, 2016 / 8:30 am

    I’m hoping once we expand or family that I have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. It’s probably two years away and I’m mentally preparing myself for it now. I’m excited and scared by the prospect but the need and desire to be with the kids is so huge #stayclassymama

  9. June 16, 2016 / 8:48 am

    I really relate to this. I had planned to go back to work when my baby is a year old, but I got made redundant on maternity leave. I plan to start looking for a new part time job at the end of the summer, and when people ask I can never just say, ‘I’m a mother.’ I have to say I’m on maternity leave and explain, and insist I plan to go back to work somehow. And to be honest I do feel I need to do more than just be a mother and a housekeeper, if only for my own sanity, and writing helps me to do that. And you will never be JUST a mother, even if you didn’t write a blog. You are so much more. #StayClassyMama

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 16, 2016 / 10:08 am

      absolutely I agree so much with you x

  10. Suranjita
    June 16, 2016 / 10:44 am

    Hello to the french teacher, blogger, mother, sister and more…

    “What do you do? Planning to go back to work? On mat leave?
    How does it matter to anyone of you?”
    But still every now and then, we are somehow hit by these questions. Isn’t it?
    I have been both a working mum and a stay at home mum. The common thing in both is that ‘a mum is always working’.
    I loved reading this post because it resonated with me and has given me something to write upon. Merci 🙂

  11. June 16, 2016 / 11:09 am

    I love this – I always thought being a stay at home mum would be great fun…until I tried it! I used to hate being asked ‘so, what do you do?’ Now, I love saying ‘I’m a food blogger!’ Which leads on to all sorts of great questions rather than the deafening silence that ‘I’m a stay at home mum’ leads to! Eb x

  12. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    June 16, 2016 / 12:18 pm

    Totally relate to this! I’m always amazed by blogging mums with small babies, as I had one who never slept at all apart from on me, but I completely get the need to have something to focus on other than ‘being mummy’. Babies are so demanding, and so all encompassing, I think having a blog to focus on gives your mind something to do, a dimension that reassures you that you are still a person in your own right. #BloggerClubUK

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 16, 2016 / 1:34 pm

      Absolutely spot on! thanks for commenting x

  13. June 16, 2016 / 1:02 pm

    It’s so important to keep something for yourself otherwise you’ll always be giving and never taking anything for yourself #ablogginggoodtime

  14. June 16, 2016 / 1:48 pm

    We are all so many things, never ‘just’ anything. For what its worth, I think its important to have something that’s yours, especially in the early days, even though it can be hard to find the time.

  15. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum)
    June 16, 2016 / 4:49 pm

    I think a lot of bloggers started when they were on maternity leave. I wish I had it would be a great digital record of my children’s lives and our adventures. As for working v house mummy both are challenging. I have a foot in both camps as a part time teacher. That suits me fine! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?

  16. Squirmy Popple
    June 16, 2016 / 6:43 pm

    I totally get the need to have an identity outside being a mum. I started my blog in part for that very reason (and in part because I’ve always been a writer and just couldn’t imagine not having a writing project). I’m back at work next week, but I’m hoping I’ll continue blogging about my motherhood journey (yes, I know it’s a cliche to talk about ‘journeys’). This blog is now part of my identity too. #stayclassymama

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 16, 2016 / 6:44 pm

      Good luck when you get back to work x

  17. June 16, 2016 / 7:12 pm

    I’m the same as you, I’m on maternity leave right now and started on my blogging exploits, I admit I just need to be doing something other than looking after my little lord – who i love dearly, but just the need to have that focus and identity outside ‘mumosphere’ #momsterslink

  18. June 16, 2016 / 7:42 pm

    I decided not to go back to work in December, and started my blog in January. It is one of the best decisions i’ve made, but i’m with you, it drives me a bit nuts to do home stuff and dare I say kid stuff all the time. I really enjoy the writing, doing something for myself. xxx #ablogginggoodtime

  19. beccaweatherall
    June 16, 2016 / 8:34 pm

    I love this post! It encapsulates exactly how I also feel about blogging. You are SO good at it and have a wonderful flair for writing. So go Mamma! 🙂 Enjoy the rest of your maternity leave! #momsterslink

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 16, 2016 / 9:39 pm

      OMG thank you so much! YOu made my day ?

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 16, 2016 / 9:42 pm

      Are you on twitter? I need to follow you

  20. June 16, 2016 / 9:00 pm

    I can totally relate to this as I started my blog when I wanted something for me, I needed to be able to control something. We put so many hats on! it’s good to have something that makes you feel you get a little bit of me time! Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week X

  21. June 17, 2016 / 1:32 am

    For me, The Mrs. is the stay at home mom and I am the working momma. I am jealous of you. I get to work, and have meetings and talk to grown ups all day, but I miss events at school like poetry readings, driving to a from ballet practice, time for a special treat or delectible delight to celebrate the school play, going to the swimming pool. I would love to be a stay at home momma. Guess that grass is always greener. I just don’t want them to grow up. Thanks for this great post! #momsterlink

  22. MouseMooMeToo
    June 17, 2016 / 6:56 am

    Never let yourself be defined by one role alone, you can be anything and everything and even nothing at all if that’s what you choose! Great post. #effitfriday

  23. June 17, 2016 / 8:27 am

    So, we meet up again, this time at #FabFridayPost
    How lovely. Knowing that so many people dread the question, “What do you do?” I have made an effort, when meeting new people of all kinds, to say instead, “So, when you are note here, how do you spend your time?” It gives everyone an out and defines people differently, hopefully in a more comfortable and understanding way? Just saying… #FabFridayPost

  24. June 17, 2016 / 9:13 am

    I will merely say that I am more than a stay at home dad. And also a tiny bit French as it happens, but then nobody is perfect.

  25. Honest Mum
    June 17, 2016 / 9:38 am

    I started my blog on maternity leave as a way to help me rediscover my voice after a traumatic birth. I missed being creative and there is nothing wrong with saying I love my baby but I want to carve out time for me, to retain my own identity and to connect. Parenthood can be isolating. Love this post x

  26. mummyfever
    June 17, 2016 / 9:57 am

    I hate it when I hear people say “i’m just a mum” – it actually makes me cringe. I am a mum of 4 so I do all the things that those 4 need (two in school and two pre-school), do all the things at home but I also work freelance as a writer and run my blog. We were all something before we were mummies and that doesn’t and shouldn’t just stop it might just change over time. #effitfriday xx

  27. June 17, 2016 / 10:02 am

    It’s hard to feel labelled as “just a mum” -being a Mum is harder than most paid jobs. I still work part-time, but on the days I am “just a Mum” I’m sure people look at it as a cushy job. Just getting three children out the door by 8am is hard enough as it is! Sarah #FabFridayPost

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 17, 2016 / 6:25 pm

      Absolutely, thanks for stopping by.

  28. June 17, 2016 / 11:28 am

    Back again from #effitfriday – remember we are never ‘only’ or ‘just’ anything! #effitfriday

  29. June 17, 2016 / 2:11 pm

    I also started my blog shortly after my first daughter was born. I had quit my job a couple of months before I had her and just needed something to do! I love writing and enjoy reading other blogs, so it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time and here I am, over 3 years later and an extra kid and still at it! lol I totally understand where you’re coming from…though I don’t miss working…most of the time…unless my 3 year old is being a jerk. 😉

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 17, 2016 / 6:28 pm

      ahaha, understand the feeling

  30. June 17, 2016 / 6:25 pm

    You are always more than just a mom! Great post and excellent reminder. Thanks for linking up with the #FabFridayPost

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 17, 2016 / 6:31 pm

      Yes, definitely, thanks for stopping by.

  31. June 17, 2016 / 11:01 pm

    As we all are, you are more than just a simple label. We each have our own reasons for writing – I just had an irresistible itch that needed to be scratched – and one of the things I am most glad of is that I now have a record of our children growing up that captures all those little details that you swear you would never forget but of course do over time. It’s what keeps me up until stupid o’clock 2-3 nights a week when I really ought to be in bed. I write, therefore I am. #pocolo

  32. Wannabe Supermaman
    June 18, 2016 / 6:49 am

    As a working mum I totally understand where you’re coming from. With my first baby I felt totally lost going back to work after 3 months of mat leave where I focused entirely on my gorgeous baby boy. Second mat leave I had gone freelance again (autoentrpreneur) and wrote when I could (baby girl didn’t sleep much tho’, doh!…) and I found that I felt far better in myself, feeling more connected with home life & the outside world. Plus the transition returning to work was easier & less of a shock to the system! I’ll be on mat leave again soon for number 3 & I’ll do the same. There’s no doubt it’s a challenge, but a beautiful one. Thanks for writing such an honest post, happy to find your Frenchie blog!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 18, 2016 / 7:31 am

      A pleasure! I am for sure always honest

  33. Sam
    June 18, 2016 / 10:02 am

    Great post! I felt exactly the same way as you when I had my first child. I put my career on hold to be wife, mum, cook, cleaner, nurse, educator and more but when I told people I was a stay at home mum they looked at me with some kind of pity in their eyes and I hated it. These days my children are older, I have a new career that I love to bits but I’m exhausted and a part of me misses those early days of staying in my PJs all day and just pottering around the house! I started blogging as a way to be me and have my own identity again. It’s my escapism and my creative outlet.

    I think it’s great that you’ve done the same and I wouldn’t mind betting that your friends comments are more to do with the fact that she’s slightly jealous of your blog and writing talents.


    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 18, 2016 / 10:36 am

      Thanks for commenting. I really think she is not jealous. She was just amazed that I found the time to start a blog with a needy toddler. She’s got a point, I always want to do more. I am the kind of person who gets bored easily. Even if my Baba is my jewels, I need more. ?

  34. Becky, Cuddle Fairy
    June 18, 2016 / 2:59 pm

    I think it’s great that you realised early on in motherhood that you needed a creative outlet & voice outside the home. It took me 8 years to realise that! lol Starting my blog was the best thing I’ve done in a long time! #MomsterLink

  35. June 18, 2016 / 4:30 pm

    Why is it that other women needs to put other women down instead of supporting them even if it is in a jokingly way. I admire your choices and as long as you are enjoy it I think you should go for it.

    Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost x

  36. June 18, 2016 / 6:37 pm

    I completely understand why for some women being a mum isnt enough. For me, in all honesty, it is enough, something which I put down to our struggles and the journey we took to get where we are, but the majority of my friends were in a rush to get back to work, to re-establish some normality, to feel something more than just someones Mummy, to just be themselves for several hours each day. I really enjoyed this post, thank you for sharing. #momsterslink

  37. Mud cakes and wine
    June 18, 2016 / 10:02 pm

    Lovely post as a sahm to three boys totally get your feelings xx #justanotherlinky

  38. June 18, 2016 / 11:28 pm

    I think that blogging is a good platform to express yourself. I use to work full time too and I am really like into work.. so much so that when I stopped it felt like my brain stopped. Years on being a stay at home mum I started going back to blogging and its so nice for me as I dont have friends here and I met some thru it. #pocolo

  39. beccaweatherall
    June 19, 2016 / 6:00 am

    I love this post! It encapsulates exactly how I also feel about blogging. You are SO good at it and have a wonderful flair for writing. So go Mamma!:-) Enjoy the rest of your maternity leave! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 19, 2016 / 10:37 am

      One more time, thank you very much. I know that some people don’t agree with me but I am sure that lots of women experience it the same way, especially first time mum. You can have an idea of it’s like being a mum before baby arrives, but you don’t know it fully until he or she is here for sure! xx

  40. June 19, 2016 / 8:29 am

    Each of us should respect what anyone else does and not question why – we all have our motivations and there is no right or wrong answer. Enjoy being a mum, enjoy your blog and enjoy being in PJs at 10am 😉

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 19, 2016 / 10:43 am

      merci ?

  41. Nige
    June 19, 2016 / 12:34 pm

    It’s so important to have your own identity and blogging is great for that I have read your quite a few times and it is fab really good post #justanotherlinky

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 19, 2016 / 1:11 pm

      thank you, really appreciate the support and feedback. I know I am not the perfect writer or blogger, but I simply enjoy it. It’s cheaper than therapy as well ahaha

  42. madelinelittlejohns
    June 20, 2016 / 6:43 pm

    I remember my Dad going through a stage where, when asked ‘what do you do?’ he would reply by telling them about one of hobbies, as he got so fed up with this idea of being defined by your career! We’re all so much more than’ just a mum’, ‘just a teacher’, ‘just anything’. x #KCACOLS

  43. Rachel (Lifeofmyfamilyandme)
    June 20, 2016 / 7:44 pm

    I went back to work after a year with both of my children. I am a TA in a primary school. I don’t know if i could stay at home permanently. Mind you if i worked from home i’d probably be ok. It’s important to have an identity and purpose in life. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.

  44. June 21, 2016 / 5:22 am

    I never stopped working, I just changed jobs to run Coombe Mill and be here for the kids while working. I think if Blogging had been around when mine were born I’ve done that too, I wish it has as I have so little record of my kids early years. If you are naturally a busy person you fill every spare minute in whatever way feels most meaningful to you. Go you and your blog! #TwinklyTuesday

  45. Gym Bunny Mummy
    June 21, 2016 / 5:50 am

    I know exactly where you’re coming from, I can’t relax I find it boring and like I’m wasting time. I like to be busy, to be doing something. I’m a stay at home mum to my little boy who has Autism but I also run my cake business & blog from home when he’s at nursery or sleeping. I just couldn’t be one or the other, I want to be everything I want to be 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

  46. June 21, 2016 / 6:02 am

    Really interesting post. I did a piece on being a SAHM this week – I’d really love it if you’d read it and let me know what you think xx #DreamTeam

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 21, 2016 / 8:10 am

      I read it yesterday ☺ I think I also left a comment. You used a different angle. Don’t listen to this idiot from the daily mail article. He is just a show off ?

  47. Pamela Li (Rookie Parenting)
    June 21, 2016 / 6:11 am

    Thank you so much for the article!!! I’m a stay at home mum, too. So glad to know I’m not the only one feeling that way. 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

  48. MyPetitCanard
    June 21, 2016 / 9:44 am

    Such a great post, one that I can completely relate to and im sure many other parent bloggers. Being on maternity leave is a lovely experience, and of course we all love to spend time with our little ones. But sometimes, after a while some of us need something a little more, and just for us. I love blogging to and think it is a great way to be able to share and express the things that are on our mind during this wonderful time. Emily #DreamTeam

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 21, 2016 / 9:49 am

      thank you for commenting. Love your linky!

  49. Something Crunchy Mummy
    June 21, 2016 / 9:48 am

    I’ve been a stay at home mum for 3 years now and I sometimes find myself justifying what I do which is wrong. In my eyes I’m not just a stay at home mum, I cook, I clean and I play with my children. Along with a lot more! Thanks for linking up to #JustAnotherLinky xx

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 21, 2016 / 9:49 am

      pleasure it’s a great linky x

  50. Rebecca Ann Smith
    June 21, 2016 / 10:09 am

    No such thing as *only* a stay-at-home mum. Cute pics btw 🙂

  51. June 21, 2016 / 12:04 pm

    I missed work at first too. the change was so big for me. I really wish id found blogging while on maternity lol! #KCACOLS

  52. June 21, 2016 / 12:06 pm

    No way are you (or any other SAHM) “just a stay at home mum” … Raising kids is a 24/7 job and couple that with running a house and your working harder than you would at any other “full time job”. Parenting is the only literal full time job as there is no holiday or weekend off.

    Your doing a brilliant job huni … Dont let anyone dull your shine 🙂

  53. June 21, 2016 / 4:18 pm

    You are more than a stay at home mummy and you have nothing to be ashamed off…many times we forget that nurturing and raising a child is a very important role.

  54. June 21, 2016 / 6:28 pm

    I absolutely love this! I feel exactly the same way, it’s like you put down the words I have been twirling around in my head. I’m not a Stay at Home Mom but while I was on maternity leave I did feel that way and, similar to you, I decided to start my blog. I love this post for its honesty and inspiration. I think stay at home Moms get a bad rep, but in reality, it is MUCH harder than working in the corporate world (at least I think so). I feel like you and I may have felt insecure about being a ‘housewife’ because of the stigma attached to it. I think we shouldn’t let societal expectations or beliefs get to us! Thanks for being candid and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 21, 2016 / 8:27 pm

      Thanks for sharing. I am getting over it now, being a mummy at home is ok. The truth is, I used to think like these people about SAHM. I thought they had an easy life. I am not ashamed about it and ready to fight if people want to label me because they have no idea what they are talking about. But I still feel like I want more. That’s why I started the blog. Even if I am not a ‘serious’ writer, I just love it!

  55. turningupindevon
    June 21, 2016 / 7:48 pm

    Like you, I find blogging to be a great outlet for writing and having a voice and it’s so true that you’ll have a log of all the baby, toddler memories and beyond as well as a creative platform! It’s all bon I say X #whatimwriting

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 21, 2016 / 8:27 pm

      Yes very bon indeed ?

  56. mackenzieglanville
    June 22, 2016 / 3:21 am

    I had to click on this post when is saw the title! After I had Aspen I felt so isolated, home all day usually with her in my arms that child was seriously attached!!! And I loved being a mum but I also felt like I lost me somewhere in all of it. Hubby would get home and I would want to hand her over and run out the door some days, well lots of days! Being stay at home mum can be so . . . I don’t know the right word but I will say dumbing, it made me feel like I had lost a big part of my intellectual self! Fast forward years latter I had 3 kids, and my youngest was staring kinder, suddenly I had to question what I wanted for ME! I felt selfish, and down, but then rediscovered my passion WRITING. I had never read a blog, and knew nothing about it, but it sounded like something I should try. So I googled how to do it, got a domain name, picked a layout and here I am 18 months later and loving it! I had no idea what a world it would open up to me, I had no idea how many amazing people blogged either! I am happier and more fulfilled than ever. I do some casual work, but mostly I am a stay at home blogging mum. I do feel I have to justify it sometimes, but I shouldn’t, my family is happy so whatever people say can’t change that. Anyway I blabbed on as us writers do lol, loving your blog xx

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 22, 2016 / 5:23 am

      You summarised perfectly this post. Exactly the same here. Love my baby to pieces, but I felt like I lost my intellectual side, well if I ever had one ?. Blogging is so good! I love it and seeing that people are interested in my writing is WOW. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment.

  57. June 22, 2016 / 11:43 am

    I wrote a post about this, and I see I am not alone. I am glad you found an outlet for you. Enjoy your time off with your baby! #KCACOLS

  58. theokayestmum
    June 22, 2016 / 1:02 pm

    Love this. I’ve been a stay-at-home mum for almost 7 years now and come August it will have come to an end as my youngest starts school and I start college! They have been the hardest but most wonderful and rewarding of my life and I’m sad it’s almost over! Great post 🙂

  59. June 22, 2016 / 5:02 pm

    I get this. I was so excited to have all this free time. Now i write all day. lol its crazy. but i do love being home with my son #KCACOLS

  60. June 23, 2016 / 8:38 pm

    I get what you mean about wanting to be more than just a mummy. Sometimes when on mat leave we need an additional dimension to our daily lives. I started my blog whilst on mat leave too and have kept it up now that I am working again. It’s MY THING.Thank you for sharing #KCACOLS

  61. June 23, 2016 / 10:08 pm

    It’s good to have an outlet. Yes parent bloggers blog about parenting and theit children but in doing so they reflect their own passions and interests. Parenthood doesn’t mean we need to erase our identities.


  62. June 24, 2016 / 12:19 pm

    I don’t think any parent is every ‘just’ a stay at home parent. Whether we work or not, its a huge balancing act and there are pros and cons on each side. Whatever you do, try not to feel as though the essence of you is any different. It’s great to hear that blogging is working for you. #DreamTeam

  63. maddy@writingbubble
    June 24, 2016 / 7:46 pm

    I can identify with this! While I think there is no real ‘just’ in being a stay at home parent, I also felt the need to do something else – something that used a different part of my brain. Blogging can be a brilliant way of keeping a lasting record of these lovely/hard early years while also being a brilliant outlet and a way of connecting with others. If writing makes you happy then it’s such a great thing to do . I think we’re better parents when we’re happy anyway. It was really interesting to read your thoughts on this. Thanks for linking to #WhatImWriting xx

  64. June 26, 2016 / 7:28 pm

    I’m not a stay at home mum but I definitely wish I’d have started my blog while I was on maternity leave. One for the documentation and two so I was using my brain. So much time was spent sat on the sofa under my velcro baby I always think how much writing I could have done! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  65. June 27, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    great post! its never easy and there is nothing wrong with looking some other fulfilment than looking after our kids. Incidentally my one half was also not over the moon about the whole blogging thing. He is getting used to it now and leaving me do my thing 🙂

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 27, 2016 / 7:34 pm

      I think my boyfriend thought it was a bit silly but I am sure he is changing his mind as it makes me happy ? thanks for reading

  66. June 28, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    I definitely know that feeling! I was Head of English at a secondary school before I had my son, but I just couldn’t face going back to it whilst he was so young… So I started writing, and blogging, and volunteering, and now with him at 3 1/2 I am busier than I have ever been! I’m not sure why we can’t just embrace parenthood with all the challenges it brings in and of itself, but I think I’m probably happier for having lots of other outlets too 🙂

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 28, 2016 / 1:36 pm

      I think that’s great. You and I found something we like. Do you sometimes miss school and contact with students?

      • July 1, 2016 / 7:36 pm

        I do sometimes – but one of the roles I’ve taken up is as a governor at our local school so that gives me a bit of a fix!

  67. travelingchristie
    June 28, 2016 / 8:28 pm

    I think as a teacher we are used to being over occupied always having a huge job list, longer than manageable so to them feel like you have time is so hard to get your head around, I remember needing something to keep me occupied x

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 28, 2016 / 8:32 pm

      Spot on. Exactly the way I felt at the start of my mat leave. thanks for visiting our blog.

  68. discombubulated
    June 28, 2016 / 9:25 pm

    You’re both the entire world to somebody and a good writer, so be proud! We can be all sorts of things at the same time and anyone who can’t see that is not worth worrying about. Between going to work 9-5 every day and being a full-time Mum there is a world of possibilities and if you’re lucky enough to explore them, enjoy I say! It’s early days anyway, years ahead of you. Love this post. #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 28, 2016 / 10:13 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a strong and positive comment. Love it!

  69. DomesticatedMomster
    June 29, 2016 / 5:20 pm

    Never feel labeled as ONLY a mummy. We are so many more things that fall under that classification. Nurse, chauffeur, referee(with multiple kids), cook, slave…etc.

    While on vacation we were talking with a couple while waiting in a line and they asked my husband what we did for a living. I of course answered that I stayed at home but that I also blogged. It’s always the same reaction from people “can you make money blogging?” Like why is that so important? I blog because I love it and it keeps me from going insane.

    Hope you keep it up and thanks for linking with #momsterslink! It returns tomorrow!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      June 29, 2016 / 7:20 pm

      Well said!

  70. June 30, 2016 / 6:39 pm

    And this sums up why I started blogging! With my eldest I had an emigration to deal with, new life to sort out, a house to find, a wedding to plan. I was busy. Pregnant with my second? Not so much and when my friend started a blog I very much had the I can do that too mentality and here I am 😉

  71. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    July 1, 2016 / 3:26 pm

    I started my blog whilst I was on Maternity Leave too – I went back to work part time at the end of it (when my daughter was about 11 months old) but I lasted about 3 months and I had to give it up. I wasn’t ready to return to work. I wonder why we feel like it’s ‘just a stay at home mum’ it’s a shame that we have choices taken away from us because how we see things, or maybe how we feel others will see us? But then there is nothing wrong with needing to be busy either! #KCACOLS

  72. July 2, 2016 / 9:54 pm

    I totally get what you’re saying here about not being ashamed of the sahm labels but not wanting to be ‘just’ that either. It’s a dichotomy I deal with regularly. Someone passed comment on my blog recently too along the same lines and said “Well, it gives you something to do while you’re off work doesn’t it.” Well I’ve been “off work” for approximately 6.5yrs now. Lol #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      July 2, 2016 / 10:12 pm

      I really think people don’t get it unless they experience it themselves at some point. I love my baby but I can’t imagine myself speaking baby talk all day long! My neurons need to function…

      • February 12, 2017 / 4:44 pm

        I love this. As a single mum with mental illness getting over hospitalisation and separation it was only recently I felt able to blog and social media. I had to prove I could do something, relate to others in a similar situation, prove my ability somehow and also be me. There is a lot of pleasure in the online connections you make.
        Sorry to hear Grumpy Boyfriend less than supportive ?

  73. August 3, 2016 / 7:16 pm

    You are taking the blogging world by storm at the moment, I don’t actually know how you’re finding the time to write all these posts, promote and link them! You must not stop? We are so glad you are though! I think you should be very proud of yourself. I know exactly what you mean, I write because I love it and want something to be proud of. Fab post cherie! #sharewithme

    • thefrenchiemummy
      August 3, 2016 / 8:24 pm

      Merci Merci! I get up early so that I can do my blogging stuff. The day time is for Baba. Well, when he is not in his Jumperoo ☺ x

  74. August 6, 2016 / 3:51 pm

    It’s crazy the way that society is shaped to suggest such things. #sharewithme

  75. mummyfever
    August 9, 2016 / 11:16 am

    Having children is a lifetime commitment. If anyone said to me i just looked after the children i’d want to floor them firstly it would be inaccurate as that is not all i do and secondly I don’t see it as a job. My children aren’t my job, my children are my responsibility and my primary one at that, but I have lots of other things to fit around that. Thanks for linking to #sharewithme

  76. August 15, 2016 / 3:16 pm

    Loved reading this, I did my first blog today… My maternity leave ends in 6 weeks but I felt like I also needed something to keep me occupied however now it is nearing the end I feel awful hence my first blog – lovely reading! Xx

    • thefrenchiemummy
      August 15, 2016 / 3:31 pm

      Good luck when you go back to work. I am sure you will be fab! xx

  77. August 18, 2016 / 10:56 pm

    Great post! I also started my blog on maternity leave and it ended up becoming my full time job, I’ve never looked back. Best thing I ever did!! I think everyone needs some kind of creative outlet lest they go mad! Thanks for joining us at #SundayBest, hope to see you again this weekend! x

  78. August 20, 2016 / 7:23 pm

    I’m different to most other parent bloggers it seems as my blog was started about 2 years before I became a parent (different niche!) I’ve just always liked giving my opinion on things so carrying it on when I became a mum was a natural step! Thanks for linking up to #SundayBest x

  79. September 4, 2016 / 12:24 pm

    Another fantastic post Frenchie! My children are now 13 and 10 (almost 11), but I didn’t return to work until my eldest was 8 years old and then only part time. I loved being a SAHM , but I am a little crazy and enjoy housework and the rest of it; but it can be very isolating, and even I felt like I was ‘just’ a stay at home mum at times. Blogging wasn’t a thing when my two were little, (I wish it had been) so I helped lead a youth group and took a couple of Open University courses (just for fun). Enjoy your time at home with Baba, keep up your fabulous blog posts and know that you are never ‘Just a SAHM’ x

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 4, 2016 / 12:40 pm

      Thank you so much for your lovely comment. xxxx

  80. September 8, 2016 / 7:26 pm

    When you are used to working, it’s hard to think about spending many hours at home.
    Of course having a baby is time consuming but I believe the world has benefited because of your blog!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 8, 2016 / 7:42 pm

      Haha I am not sure about that but thanks for the compliment! LOL

  81. mebecomingmum
    September 19, 2016 / 5:12 pm

    This is perfect ?? about to start maternity leave for the second time and I think it’s important we have something for us to be ourselves. Plus it’s an amazing community to be a part of when you’re a blogger!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 19, 2016 / 7:24 pm

      Absolutely. Enjoy the maternity leave! Thanks for reading. I hope to see you again xx

      • mebecomingmum
        September 19, 2016 / 9:42 pm

        Thank you, I’m sure I will!
        Definitely, I’ve followed your blog so will get updates ???

  82. Oana - Blondie Mommy
    October 7, 2016 / 6:56 am

    Hey, I am also a SAHM (actually, since my son is going at preschool I became a part-tyme SAHM 🙂 ).
    And, of course, I also LOVE writing. So, I think it’s one of the reasons why I started my blog, too 🙂

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