You love Frenchie words. You love reading about Frenchie Mummy and her most kept secrets. But do you want to know about Frenchie women in general? The real truth, not les clichés you read in the press or the stereotypes you see on TV. Well, you found the right place and the right person! Let me tell you everything about Frenchie women…
- They have a very sexy Frenchie accent
I used to hate my accent when I arrived into the UK. You have no idea how many times people would talk to me to show off what they remembered of their French GCSEs ‘Bonjour, ça va? Je m’appelle … Et toi?’ That would stop at this point. And all I wanted was some milk (or some fags!). Equally, I have been chatted up so many times in pubs or bars. And yes, many men asked me ‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?’ as soon as they heard my accent. I don’t know what is it with our accent but everybody loves it (not me!). Even Grumpy Boyfriend sometimes tells me with nostalgia that I sound less and less French… Good!
- French women are stylish
Get over it. It’s a fact. Even with my hair not brushed and no make-up, my stripy top gives me a je ne sais quoi that is stylish. Are my leggings dirty? Do I smell like baby vomit? Did I put my dress inside out? I swing it like a star, just talking like Brigitte Bardot, making sure that my ‘R’ are more resonant.
- They wear matching underwear
I already told you that I do that (and many other of my secrets) in this post. How is it possible to do otherwise? Blame it on my mum. She raised me that way…
- French women are sex goddesses with a complicated love life
Translation in real life: all men are fantasising about being with French women. They think we all wear some stockings and sexy lingerie like no one. Also, our private life is very passionate. Obviously, we all have affairs because it’s so Frenchie and François Hollande did so with a boring actress that nobody cares about… And my parents’ taxes probably partly paid for his night strolls!
- Frenchie women are good at sex and like talking about it
The first one is 100% correct, bien sûr! For the second, I am not so sure! I don’t want you to know what I am up to with Grumpy Boyfriend. That’s too private! And there’s not much going on… I am une maman fatiguée anyway…
- French women sunbathe topless
How dare you? Any excuse to see my gorgeous poitrine! You won’t see any of it!
7. They love drinking good wine and even give some to their kids
Pourquoi pas? Life is too short to not like le vin! Add up to it some fromage (who can live without it?!), les croissants, la baguette. I better stop because I am getting very hungry now…
- Equally, they smoke too much
If only! I used to smoke like a chimney. But now, I am a good girl.
- Frenchie women don’t shave their legs/ armpits
Don’t laugh but I actually had a student once asking me if it was true. And he was keeping a close eye on me to make sure the fact was indeed correct. Being a young teacher at the time, fiery and proud, I instantly gave him a detention saying that he was rude. Thinking back, he was just a poor idiot (in other words a boy…) and I should have laughed about it. Anyway, do you really shave everyday ladies? I mean, come on… Sometimes it’s extra work.
- Frenchie women are thin
Well, not where I come from! In my family, we all have feminine curves and proud of it!
- They complain all the time
Coupable! But as I always say to Grumpy Boyfriend, his life would be so boring if I was always contente. At least, he has the challenge to try to make me happy. Good luck with that as I am very good at moaning about everything:
- NHS being too busy. How come when I call my GP to get an appointment, the secretary tells me that I should have booked something a month ago? Well, I was fine until today. I am not able to read into the future and tell you when I will be sick next…
- English people driving on the wrong side of the road. I am used to it now, mais vraiment?! You would do anything to be different from other countries!
- French women love a pharmacy
Yes and the prescriptions that go with it. It’s so strange to be able to buy drugs as you want in a Boots. Don’t laugh, but every time I go back to France, my mum puts on the side 3 key things for me that she got from le pharmaciste. My goodies bag always includes nasal drops, syrup, and aspirin. I am 31 years old. I wonder if she thinks that I live in a third world country where you have to fight for medicaments…
You would have understood by now that it is what Frenchie Mummy looks like on a daily basis.
Sexy but not tarty (she only does that when she gets out once in a blue moon!), sweet but not childish, cute but not too much. Don’t you believe me? Well, check out my pictures on Instagram 😁. The babe c’est moi! And Baba aussi! No, sorry. He is just my most beautiful accessory 👜👛👝.