The other day, I met up with a couple of other mummies from work. All of them have a baby born around the same time as Baba. It was nice to see them and share our stories about birth, feeding and nappies.
One of the mums, who I also consider a good friend of mine, could not resist but talk about my blog. I invited her to like my Facebook page. I thought it would be nice to start spreading the word about my new hobby with my friends and colleagues. It was probably a way for me to taste the water and see some reactions about my new blogging obsession. Remember, Grumpy Boyfriend didn’t seem extremely over-the-moon about the whole thing. I just wanted to see what other people close to me would think about it.
My friend was very nice. Indeed, she was full of compliments. However, one of her remarks stuck in my mind and I can’t stop thinking about it. ‘Your blog is fab! It’s so funny you felt like you had to start something like that, while you were off work. I can’t believe you decided to do so. You could not resist, right?’ She had a point.
While I was still full-time (and over!) working as a French teacher in a secondary school, I used to whinge all the time about having no time for me. I put my hand up and admit. I would moan to whoever wanted to hear how full on this job was. I am not here to write about teaching and how this career has changed over the years. It’s not about the pressure we put teachers on. They have to constantly be at the top of their game: results, paperwork, performance management and more…
But I can’t stop thinking about my friend’s comment. Why did I feel the need to start the Frenchie Mummy Blog while on maternity leave? For once in my life, I would have had all the time I ever dreamt of. As long as Baba agrees with it of course… It means he has no tantrums or bobo that imply me cuddling or holding him. But, still. I could not be happy with it.
The idea of only being a stay at home maman was just horrendous. Yes, I admit it. I missed work at the start of my maternity leave. Even worse. While contemplating le petit monstre growing up fast, I started wondering if I made the right decision to stop working for a year.
The truth is I could not handle being labelled ‘mummy at home and proud of it’. During the first weeks at home, it was far from being the idyllic picture. Baba was sleeping a lot of the time and I found myself with nothing to do but housework. Cauchemar! It didn’t mean that my house was tidier, though. Far from it. That’s why I decided to start my blog.
Even when people ask my occupation, I don’t really like saying that I am a ‘housewife’ or ‘homemaker’. Isn’t it weird? I am not saying that I am ashamed of it. As soon as I discovered that I was pregnant, I agreed with Grumpy Boyfriend that I will stay at home to look after le petit ange.
May I say that writing gives me some purpose and a lot of pleasure? Since I started this whole thing and saw the amazing reception from people, I must admit that I am happier. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the fact that I don’t have to get up at 6 o’clock and get ready by 7.00 am pretty much every day. Sometimes, I am not ashamed to even say that I’m still in my pyjamas at 10! Waking up with bébé, first biberon of the morning, then a bit of laundry or the kitchen needs to be tidied up and other things.
I know people say it’s the most amazing job. But I don’t want to only be a mummy! I don’t want to be the personal housekeeper in our home. I have some brains and I want the world to know about it!
Actually, you know what? I am not only a mummy. I am a partner, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a teacher (I haven’t given up on that, merci bien!). I am a successful woman who has been living in a foreign country for nearly a decade (yes, I know. I am not getting any younger…Don’t say anything). I am a nutter, a pseudo blogger and many other tags.
And yes, the Frenchie Mummy Blog might be just a way for me to escape and pretend I still get it. Or it may be a narcissist project. Mais j’adore ça! It makes me feel alive. It gives me the impression that I am a prosperous adult. It gives me a goal. But more importantly, it will be the best journal that will help me to remember what it was to join the ‘motherhood’ club.