Stop being a cheater on Facebook groups!

You get it; this post is going to be a massive rant. No nice and witty Frenchie Mummy today. I am not in the mood! Baba decided to wake up three times last night and I am knackered. Also, Grumpy Boyfriend booked a table at a super posh restaurant for tonight but we had to cancel at the last minute… So, I am in a rage.


Literally, I have been roaring all morning. Grumpy Boyfriend is long gone to his office while I am typing those lines.

No one to face my anger! I can’t take it on Baba! He is too cute and too young…

I am just eating a banana ?  Please don’t take it out on me…

Therefore, someone has to take the blame! Well, someone in the blogosphere will be my punching ball. No one, in particular, don’t worry. I am not going to name anyone.

Today, I am going to have a go at you. Yeah, you the cheater on Facebook groups! Just let me know, please. What is the point of you to join such groups? Why would you take part in a thread and then not follow the rules?

I explain. I am a member of 20 bloggers groups, if not more, on Facebook. I take part in several threads every day. This is my new addiction. I am not so much on linkies at the moment. I decided to slow it down. I don’t have as much time as before to properly comment on blogs. Therefore, I don’t do it to avoid let people down.

Anyway. Back to Facebook groups. There isn’t one where I have seen everyone playing 100% by the rules.

Here is an example that really annoyed me. It was by an American group. The thread was clear. All you needed to do was ask for a specific favour to all members. I wanted them to like my Facebook page (it’s here if you fancy joining. If you don’t want to miss my latest post but you also like seeing cute pics of Baba, this is the place to be!).

I am trying to grow this social media platform at the moment. Once the members were done, they were supposed to like my comment on the thread. Pretty standard if you take part in Facebook groups.

People had a 48 hours window to complete it. There were about 50 people joining the thread. It took me ages to complete what everyone asked for: pin a post, connect on Twitter or whatever they wanted. Conscientious, I stayed up all night to do it on time.

And you know what? I reckon 10% of those people didn’t like my page as I asked. So I did the favour they asked for, but they didn’t return it. Some didn’t even bother to like my comment. I suppose the admin will deal with them? Warn them or ban them from the group? I don’t care.

But what annoyed me is that 4 people pretended they liked my page. They liked my comment on the thread but yet, they did nothing on my page! I asked them if they used another username. None bothered to reply. Someone told me that, due to certain settings people choose, you sometimes don’t have a notification when they like your page on Facebook.

Right, but I checked the number of people liking my page before and after this particular thread and it was not right. Those 4 people didn’t play the game! They cheated!

I don’t do that all the time, you know. I don’t check on people like that! But it was so clear they were cheating that I decided to investigate. Just for once.

The whole thing really annoyed me. It was like being back at school (I am a teacher). ‘I swear I did my homework Miss, but my dad’s dinosaure ate my bag today and my French book with my homework was in it! I will give it to you tomorrow, first thing in the morning.’

And then they turn up with what is clearly a duplicate of their best mate’s work, with exactly the same mistakes, word for word. I am sure you get me if you are a teacher too… You have no idea what students come up with to avoid a detention…

Another example that actually made me write this post. It just happened yesterday. You might even know what I am talking about if you are a member of this Facebook group.

The thread was clear. Follow everyone on Twitter and don’t take part if you plan on unfollowing other members afterwards. So here again, Frenchie Mummy was a good girl. She followed the rules and connected with every single person on the thread, even the ones that were not in my niche.

I went to bed when my Crowdfire app beeped. If you don’t have it yet, download it now! It tells you who follows / unfollows you!

Someone from that thread unfollowed me, not even 24 hours after completing it! I was fuming! This person clearly didn’t understand the rules… I don’t have a problem with people unfollowing me on Twitter. We all do it. It’s simple if people do so, I do the same. We are not all real friends. No strings attached. But there, the point of that thread was to connect with other people and not ditch them as soon as possible to grow numbers on Twitter.

I am not perfect. I am sure that sometimes, I may have missed some stuff like that or didn’t oblige to the rules by accident or because I rushed it.

I have a clear example in mind. When I started joining linkies, I once put a post and barely commented on other blogs. Here is what happened: I linked up my post and then got distracted with Baba. He was still very small at the time and needed so much attention… One thing after another, I took care of him and then completed other tasks in the house. I totally forgot that I needed to finish this linky.

The week after, I rushed to my computer to take part again. Only at that moment, I realised with horror that I didn’t do the previous one properly! I was mortified! I emailed straight away the person who was running it to apologise! She laughed and said it was fine.  It could happen sometimes. Since then, I have a notebook next to my laptop and drop what I need to do every day!

So nobody is perfect and it might be the case that sometimes you don’t mean to not follow the rules on a Facebook group. It’s ok. All you need to do is say ‘Sorry’. We are all humans (and adults!)

But please, don’t do like this blogger who denied the whole thing. She even turned it around saying that I was not following her.

Quoi?! What?!

She said I was sarcastic (she had a point! I was very much indeed because she really pissed me off!).

She can say that. I don’t mind. I am many other things. I am a perfectionist, I am demanding (ask Grumpy Boyfriend, he can tell you a lot about it!), sometimes lazy (especially when it involves housework…), I am bloody stubborn but also a bit cocky (not my fault, it’s my Frenchie part…), but I am honest!

And yeah, I left her a sarcastic comment on the thread because she wasted my time and tried to lie about it like I was the bad one in the story…

I just want to finish this post with 3 little (actually massive!) points that are important to me:

  • If you run a linky or if you are in charge of a Facebook group, I admire you! It involves so much work! I don’t know how you do it. There are always people that will try to take advantage of the system and not be fair… That’s probably why I will never run a linky myself. It would be too much hassle. It would give me more grey hair! I even reckon the teacher I am would want to scream ‘You!!!!! 20 minutes detention after school!’ I left this kind of annoyance when I became a SAHM… So no thank you!hqdefault
  • If you are a person who joins linkies and Facebook groups and you always play by the rules, I also admire you. Because you have what we call the #bloglove. And that’s because of people like you that those groups and tribes are fabulous! You are the reason why bloggers like me want to be part of your gang! You are the ones that make new bloggers work harder and continue connecting with you. Merci!
  • If you are one of those cheaters on Facebook groups, please look at yourself in the mirror… Is it really worth it? Is it who you want to be? A dishonest person? Just to have big numbers showing off on social media platforms? Don’t be daft! Some other members know what you are doing and one day, you will be caught and banned. But I suppose you can join many other groups and start it all over again… But please, just stay away from me. I might turn into Mumzilla and eat you!!
Frenchie Mummy is having a bad day!!!!

Pardon chers lecteurs! I am so sorry you had to read this post today. But I needed to get it out. Surely, I am not the only one experiencing this kind of crap! Merde! I said a bad word! I must still be angry…

I would love to hear your opinion about the whole thing. Are you a member of Facebook groups? Do you run a linky and see people not following the rules? How do you keep calm? (I might need some tips on this…) How often do you see people cheating?

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  1. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    September 30, 2016 / 2:38 pm

    I’m not going to lie, this really irritates me! These things run on reciprocation, and if everyone’s not going to play by the rules, it’s just not fair. As a linky runner, the one thing I’d say, is that those who link and run don’t end up getting anything out of it – either in the way of traffic, return comments, or just general good feeling and being part of a community. It’s noticeable when I’m commenting on our linky that the people who put in the effort to comment lots get lots back, which always makes me smile.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 30, 2016 / 3:12 pm

      so true, and it’s annoying when your linky is all about blog love! sorry I reckon the first few times I didn’t do it properly… xx

  2. Stacey
    September 30, 2016 / 6:11 pm

    I prefer the groups that don’t rely on the follow-for-follow. It doesn’t help anyone if you blog about being in business but you’re following my mommy blog that doesn’t really interest you. For instance, one group I’m a part of just asks you to like 3 pages, instead of all of them. That way I can choose maybe a cooking page, a parenting page, and a money saving page, but they are all things that interest me and the like is mutually beneficial.

    However, I am really annoyed when someone likes the LINK to my Facebook page and never likes the PAGE itself. They’re not fooling anyone. And I am even more frustrated when I get a personal message from people in that group saying, “I liked your page, now please like mine.” Except they are a blog about local events in a country that I’ve never even been to. It doesn’t benefit or interest either of us. So I think your rant is justified.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 30, 2016 / 9:15 pm

      thank you so much! I agree with you about those kind of groups where you get to choose what you follow. xx

  3. September 30, 2016 / 8:36 pm

    I’ve been naughty (by accident) a couple of times. The same situation as you my baby needed me but I feel horrendous if I don’t play by the rules.

    It’s awful that people don’t care. As the song goes in Bugsy Malone. “You give a little love and it all comes back to you.” That’s going to be stuck in my head all night now!

    P.S I’ve just liked your FB page. I promise ? Haha!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 30, 2016 / 9:18 pm

      merci! I will check it out! I think you are right. It’s all about karma. I know this post was stupid but it made me feel better… Probably saved Grumpy Boyfriend form a tantrum as I was in such a bad mood after this blogger played her tricks one me hahaha. Thanks for stopping by x

  4. September 30, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    You’ve just reminded me that I need to go back and finish some linky reading!! ? Will do so now before I get distracted again! Totally get where you’re coming from and I always try my hardest too…so annoying when it doesn’t always happen in return!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      September 30, 2016 / 9:47 pm

      You know what? I am sur ethat sometimes I must have annoyed some people not doing it properly. But I promise that I tried! Some people are just opportunists…

      • October 1, 2016 / 6:19 am

        Yes I agree. If the majority of the time you’ve tried and slip up occasionally then that’s different. Otherwise it ruins it for everyone! Well done you for being brave and confronting them though! xxx

  5. October 1, 2016 / 4:17 am

    Ah hun, hoping the rant made you feel better… we all need them, me frequently! I hate the follow unfollow game on insta & twitter SOOOO annoying!! big hugs x

  6. Tracey bowden
    October 1, 2016 / 10:31 am

    I hope this made you feel better! I stopped jo9ning in these a long time ago for this reason and for the fact that one post mentioned a cancelled day trip out and their comment read “oh it looks like you had a great day out” we didn’t even go anywhere!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 1, 2016 / 11:15 am

      hahaha they just looked at the pic and didn’t read it!

  7. October 1, 2016 / 1:01 pm

    I also notice that when the rules say to only post one link or one request, some people posts more then once! Then delete the one everyone already participated on so they can get more interaction on a different link! Makes me so mad, I went and checked today and luckily no one interacted with it so far, but what a cheater! I just can’t stand that. Thanks for writing this, I totally agree with you!

  8. Tracy Nixon
    October 1, 2016 / 8:55 pm

    So many cheats on social media – us ‘innocents’ don’t stand a chance 🙁

  9. October 1, 2016 / 9:25 pm

    Oh dear that is really annoying! I don’t take part in those threads because I would be so scared of doing it wrong or missing something! I always follow the rules too, it’s rubbish when people don’t! X #KCACOLS

  10. Alex Muir
    October 1, 2016 / 9:26 pm

    lol- funny little rant you had there 😉 But you’re right, it IS so annoying. I did a FB thread once where only 10 could partake (so as to keep comment responsibilities small) and only 2 commented on my blog!!!!!!! #kcacols

  11. October 1, 2016 / 9:27 pm

    I would be totally mortified to link up & run on one of these things. I’ve joined a couple of these threads on fb and I might have missed someone, but I try hard to get everyone. I do it before I add my own link so I can’t forget! I don’t know why you would not want to stick to the rules because the whole point of this is to build a supportive community. Very frustrating! #kcacols

  12. Mrs Morgan Plus 3
    October 1, 2016 / 9:33 pm

    I only do linkys and other bits if I know i will be able to do what is asked of me other wise it is not fair to everyone else taking part. Why do other think they can do what they like and not stick to rules.?! Not good!! #KCACOLS x

  13. Ordinary Hopes
    October 1, 2016 / 9:35 pm

    Goodness! I don’t even join linkies without adding my comments immediately. If I don’t think I am going to be able to comment, I don’t join. If I am in the middle of a hectic week, I don’t join anything.

    I am also unaware that there are so many blogger groups on Facebook! I have so much to learn! #KCACOLS

  14. October 1, 2016 / 9:46 pm

    It’s so annoying when people do this sort of thing. I only really use FB groups that are run very strictly by the admin these days, because it’s the only way you can feel confident most people will abide by the rules. #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 1, 2016 / 10:26 pm

      yeah, I think you are right. I used to think that they were a bit strict but it’s actually for the best. SO sad to have to come to that… thanks for reading x

  15. mummymiller
    October 1, 2016 / 9:47 pm

    I totally understand, I really hate people who don’t follow the rules! I always try to do commenting as soon as I add my link on a linky because I know if I get distracted I will forget! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 1, 2016 / 10:27 pm

      I do too! My example in my post taught me that! Thanks for reading x

  16. October 1, 2016 / 10:00 pm

    I hope you enjoy hosting this week. I always love your posts. I don’t really play the follow for follow ones, as I find you don’t get people who really want to follow you. That said, I do dislike it when people don’t follow the rules! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 1, 2016 / 10:27 pm

      thanks for saying that! I think you are right about follows…

  17. October 1, 2016 / 10:01 pm

    You do notice the peeps who always make an effort to comment on your post when you’re part of a linky. There are so many people giving up their precious time to do this. So it’s important we all play nicely. It’s also about respecting each other as bloggers and supporting one another. The one thing about Linkys I love is that it introduces me to new bloggers and new stories. You can learn so much! Much nicer to be a real part of the crew rather than linking up and running off! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 1, 2016 / 10:28 pm

      Perfectly said! Yes, we always notice who has the real #bloglove x

  18. James Hopes
    October 1, 2016 / 10:16 pm

    Yeah it can be frustrating! Fortunately the ones I’m on are pretty good but I definitely feel tense when I try to remember whether I’ve done my commenting for that week or not!! #KCACOLS

  19. October 1, 2016 / 10:25 pm

    I had one week where I didn’t do enough commenting on one or two linkys and I felt terrible. It was just so busy and I kept popping back to do it and always getting caught up doing something else! I ended up not linking up the following week and still going back to the previous posts and making comments to try to make up for it a bit! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 1, 2016 / 10:30 pm

      It’s ok. We all have our moments. I think what really annoyed me was the response from the other blogger trying to blame it on me. plus I had a very bad night! she didn’t catch me on the right day hahaha. I am normally nice, I promise…Thanks for subscribing x

      • October 1, 2016 / 10:32 pm

        Ha, yeah we all have days like that! It’s cheeky to try to blame you though when the other person was in the wrong! #kcacols

  20. October 1, 2016 / 11:16 pm

    Great post! I see people cheating like this all the time. It’s the main reason I love #KCACOLS so much because I have joined other linkies and spent so much of my time going round commenting on posts only to receive 1 comment from the linky host only! But #KCACOLS there is more #bloglove! I agree with you, what is the point of that? They assume people don’t notice and feel anonymous on the internet but people do notice! I also have seen ‘big’ bloggers snub comments on twitter but reply to someone they think is worth their while. Equally I know the ‘big’ bloggers out there who are lovely and talk to everyone. Fab post. 😉 #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:15 am

      Thank you do much for this lovely comment. I agree with everything you said! xx

  21. October 1, 2016 / 11:29 pm

    This know me of thing is really annoying. It’s the time wasted that i also find find annoying. Hope you have better luck. Any blogging Facebook pages you would recommend though?

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:16 am

      Blogger Club Uk. I love the hosts!

  22. October 2, 2016 / 1:00 am

    That kind of thing is so frustrating. I’ve had that happen before too. #KCACOLS

  23. Soppymum
    October 2, 2016 / 6:31 am

    This is one of my frustrations!!! We are all busy and have lots to do but I just wish people wouldn’t join in if they weren’t going to play nicely!! I got really disheartened on a couple of linkys and it made me doubt myself. Until I realised some people are just rude!!!! Thank you for summing it up so well #kcacols

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:17 am

      That’s it! They are rude! Thanks for reading x

  24. Rebecca Taylor
    October 2, 2016 / 7:24 am

    I always admire you Cecil for speaking your mind and saying what so many of us are thinking. Good for you and I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for sharing. You are one of the most generous bloggers out there for commenting and playing by the rules. X #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:21 am

      Big hugs to you my dear. I don’t think I am perfeect and probably forgot some people sometimes but I am definitely trying my best. Thanks for reading x

  25. October 2, 2016 / 7:40 am

    that is quite upsetting that people don’t follow the rules, but take advantage. I know it’s possible to make a mistake, it happens to everyone, but we all know there are people that are cheaters out there. Very annoying.

  26. flyingsolo7
    October 2, 2016 / 8:25 am

    Wow , I had no idea all of this goes on, It is on my October to Do list to read more blogs on the linkys, this is my first time with #KCACOLS and it’s brilliant already, so many more posts that are catching my eye that I want to read, in fact so much so Il have to come back later and look at some more…

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:24 am

      You will enjoy it for sure, it’s a great linky! Thanks for reading, hope to see you again x

  27. October 2, 2016 / 8:27 am

    I don’t really do Facebook and this sounds like another reason to avoid it! I’ve never been involved in any blogging bitchiness but it sounds there are a lot of back stabbers too. #kcacols

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:25 am

      Do you think it’s bitchy of me to publish this post? omg, Id didn’t want to sound like that! But it pissed me off so much. It was that or Grumpy Boyfriend would have been my punching bag when he got home …

      • October 2, 2016 / 9:37 am

        No not at all! I just mean there are some bitchy bloggers out there and alot who don’t read posts properly either!

        • thefrenchiemummy
          October 2, 2016 / 11:00 am

          ok, you got me worried here ? I can actually be a very good bitch when I am mad at someone! Ask Grumpy Boyfriend lol x

  28. ohmummymia
    October 2, 2016 / 8:54 am

    It’s make me really upset as well! I even get app which telling me who unfollow me and I can do the same. The most irritating thing is that one week or couple days after thread they unfollow you or unlike your page:/

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:27 am


  29. Oana - Blondie Mommy
    October 2, 2016 / 9:04 am

    Funny post.
    I also think that the ones who host linkys are so brave. I don’t know where they have the time to do it. #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 9:28 am

      I so agree with you. I reckon nobody would join my linky anymore as I would ban anyone not playing by the rules straight away! LOL. Thanks for reading again. It’s always lovely to see your comment x

  30. October 2, 2016 / 9:50 am

    Believe it or not I don’t have much time to read and write blogs at the moment, however, when I join a Linky, I do my best to read as much as I can.
    It’s very interrupted but I do.
    I have a lot of respect for people who run them and I agree, if you join, follow the rules

  31. aliduke79hotmailcom
    October 2, 2016 / 9:51 am

    I always follow the rules. I like that we all support each other and help each other grow.

  32. October 2, 2016 / 10:13 am

    Ah that is annoying! I try not to link up or commit to things like that unless I know I will get the time, like now, I’ve only just linked up to #KCACOLS as I know I have very little to do and can spend time commenting on other’s posts xx

  33. October 2, 2016 / 10:18 am

    I know what you mean, it is extremely annoying. I have that happen to me before with a linky I joined and commented on most posts, twitted about it and still no one commented on my post from that linky not even the admin so I decided never to join that linky party again. I also get people on the bigger linky parties not following the rules which really irritates me especially when the rule says comment on the post before you or after you or the host’s post #KCACOLS.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 11:02 am

      god, I had that so many times. I have to say that I hate when people in charge of linkies don’t commentr at all. Sometimes I understand that something is coming up but all the times is rubbish! I wish you could tell me what linky you are talking about! Just to see if I agree with you…

    • October 2, 2016 / 4:22 pm

      Actually just realised it happened twice.. Binky linky & Share with me one only had 15 submissions and still no one commented. I’m not sure if you are familiar with them, I joined once and I honestly don’t think I will again.

      • thefrenchiemummy
        October 2, 2016 / 5:49 pm

        I am so surprised! I joined with both and never seen this problem to be fair to them. Otherwise, I would have ranted about it hahaha

      • October 2, 2016 / 6:35 pm

        Hahaha I didn’t want to name and shame but oh well! I guess everyone has a different experience with some linkies. It happened when I was fairly new and trying to get familiar with linky parties I had some great experiences and more interactions with lots of other linkies though!

  34. October 2, 2016 / 10:48 am

    A lady after my own heart! I stopped linking to a Facebook group because of this- I felt that I was the only one who always commented on everyone’s and actually read the post first! Which brings me to another gripe, the ‘great post’ commenters. It really winds me up when it’s obvious they haven’t even bothered to skim read and comment with around 5 words that I swear they just copy and paste on every post that day! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 11:03 am

      I know but sometimes I really read the post and really want to say that it is a great piece and I still feel like a fraud! hahaha

  35. October 2, 2016 / 11:05 am

    I’m not very au fait with Facebook groups/threads and tend to avoid them for fear of inadvertently not carrying out everything I should!! #KCACOLS

  36. October 2, 2016 / 11:45 am

    Great post. I don’t get involved in Facebook groups but I get the sentiment. After a few months where I managed to get a bit confused about Linkys (I’m not sure how…I’ll blmae the toddler) I finally got in on the act properly. Now I regularly linky and I play by the rules. I always comment on the minimum – more than the minimum in fact. But others don’t always. The Linky’s where the hosts don’t police them are the ones where people don’t show the #bloglove as you put it. I get life sometimes come-up but hosts shouldn’t have to keep check on you… See you got me ranting now too 😉 #KCACOLS

  37. October 2, 2016 / 12:50 pm

    Now that I have the hang of linkys I absolutely make sure the first thing I do is comply with the rules! I add the badge, link up, comment on the host/person before me etc at a minimum, then I usually open a bunch of tabs for the other links and work my way through across the day! I am also a member of several FB groups, however, I very rarely join the threads because sometimes I just know I won’t have the time/energy to do them right! If I can’t do them right, I won’t do them at all! xx #kcacols

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 12:54 pm

      that’s the perfect way to do so. Thanks for reading xx

  38. October 2, 2016 / 12:59 pm

    I try my hardest to go above and beyond with link parties- they are so much more intimate than fb groups. I suck at those! I have put my info in the wrong thread more than once and have screwed it up! I dont know why these are so much more confusing for me/

  39. October 2, 2016 / 1:20 pm

    I hate, hate, hate the follow unfollow game on instagram, pinterest ,twitter and GFC. So annoying!


  40. October 2, 2016 / 1:37 pm

    I’m in a few groups but not ones that ask to do that fortunately. However, I have seen shared posts asking for things like this (eg that book thing that was going around a while ago (! It’s all well and good if you are honest and trustworthy but many aren’t! It does frustrate me and I actually got rid of FB for a while because of it – and the ‘pretend’ happy families…

  41. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    October 2, 2016 / 2:17 pm

    Oh yes, this is one of my personal pet peeves too – why bother joining in if you have no intention of doing it. I understand that noone is perfect and we all make mistakes, but I honestly feel like some people join in with these groups with no intention of keeping up their side of the agreement. It makes me rage!! Argh! #KCACOLS

  42. Topfivemum
    October 2, 2016 / 2:23 pm

    Eek I really wouldn’t have wanted to be in your class at school. Tests on irregular verbs every week were enough for me lol. I’m just starting to link up to linkys etc and like to share the love. I’ve yet to see if I get any love back. But besides being a cheat to me this is just bad manners. You have a right to rant! #KCACOLS

  43. October 2, 2016 / 5:16 pm

    Yes so so true, there’s got to be a mutual blogging love. Bloggers who don’t share the love usually always come to a bad end…. #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 5:47 pm

      That’s what we call karma! Thanks for reading xx

  44. Mainy - myrealfairy
    October 2, 2016 / 5:48 pm

    Well done for having a good rant and letting it all out. You’re right to be angry, people don’t always follow rules, sometimes is ok… sometimes it’s not. When work and effort need to be put in there are some people who cant be arsed and some who give their all. You are a giver and that’s a good thing:) Mainy x

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 5:50 pm

      Merci for saying that. And yes it made me feel so much better. xx

  45. October 2, 2016 / 6:07 pm

    I haven’t discovered that many Facebook groups yet, just working through the world of linkies.

    But I have liked your page and I promise I won’t unlike you (I’m too scared!).

    And yes a big grrr to all those cheaters! It’s Sunday night and I am catching up with all my comments, likes and tweets doing my bit for blogging mummies!

    Anyway sending you lots of #bloglove! #KALCOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 7:36 pm

      haha, don’t worry about unfollowing me. It’s life. Just don’t do it if you promised to like me in a group xxx

  46. October 2, 2016 / 6:17 pm

    This is a huge bug bear of mine too! I join in a lot of blogging comment threads where I comment on every single post and the other fifteen posters are meant to do the same, and most of the time they don’t! Or they comment with “great post” which means they haven’t read it or even pretended to read it! I sometimes wonder why I bother! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 2, 2016 / 7:36 pm

      I never join those blog comments threads as I know I will be more dissapointed…But maybe all the threads are like that really… xx

  47. winnettes
    October 2, 2016 / 6:34 pm

    I’m not part of many groups and I know I wouldn’t have the time to give it the time it deserves. I wouldn’t cheat though, that wouldn’t sit well with my conscience. I have limited myself to the linkys I do already because I have time to complete them and to give a bit more than the minimum each week. Of course every now and again kids get in the way, life happens and the bare minimum is all I can achieve but it has to be that at least for me. I enjoy giving a bit more where I can. This would have made me cross to! Rant away!

  48. Anne Marshall
    October 2, 2016 / 7:04 pm

    I loved the pictures in your post, especially your baby with his banana, so sweet. I’m quite new to all this and I did join a couple of those international bloggers groups not really knowing what they would be about. I found the same thing. And you know, now I feel I really don’t want anyone to like my page just for the sake of a like, it just makes things a bit redundant really. I’m really enjoying this linky, it feels genuine and its so interesting discovering all the other bloggers out there. I hope you get to go to that nice restaurant soon! 😉 Xx

  49. October 2, 2016 / 7:46 pm

    I can completely understand your anger and frustration. It can be so very infuriating when people don’t follow or stick to the rules. I have noticed there are a lot of linkys these days where people either dump and run or don’t return the love, and yes it can be very annoying to say the least. I agree if you are going to play by the rules then you really shouldn’t join in at all!xx #KCACOLS

  50. prettyinplaydough
    October 2, 2016 / 8:16 pm

    I love this, it is so true. People really annoy me. I joined in with a thread that everyone had to like each others facebook page. I liked everyone’s page but half didn’t like mine back! I just get frustrated because I like to play by the rules too! #kcacols

  51. Suburban Mum
    October 2, 2016 / 8:42 pm

    I completely agree with you on this. Rules are rules – why join in if you don’t intend to stick to them? It’s completely unfair on everyone else! #KCACOLS

  52. October 2, 2016 / 8:44 pm

    I like to think I am one for following the rules, although I definitely think I took part in some linkies this past week and can’t for the life of me keep track, so I fear I’ve not reciprocated comments. I too have taken part in similar Facebook groups, I usually just do ones where you each have to comment on the others’s posts. I haven’t done any for likes or follows. I’d like to think people follow me because they want to, not because they have to. All that aside, if you take part in something, you should follow the rules! #KCACOLS

  53. My Petit Canard
    October 2, 2016 / 9:32 pm

    Its so annoying and frustrating when other people do things like this. Obviously not if it is a geunine accident or mistake, but there are definitely those that take advantage of some linkies and chats and things like that. If you didnt write this post im sure we would all have been thinking it from time to time 😉 Emily #KCACOLS

  54. Alana - Burnished Chaos
    October 2, 2016 / 10:00 pm

    I do love a good rant, hope you feel. Enter after getting it off your chest. I don’t really join any Facebook groups so haven’t met this particular problem but I agree that people who host linkies are a special breed. How on earth they manage it I will never know. With every linky I join I always comment on the minimum number laid out in the rules in one go and then go back and comment on more as and when I have extra time and I always feel guilty that I’m not doing enough.

  55. October 3, 2016 / 5:34 am

    I run a linky and I am also admin on a FB group and I see all sorts on both. My linky is only a really small one (It’s Animal Tales if you ever wanted to have a look – oops, blatant bit of publicity there!) and I have people who link and run and don’t even comment on my host post. The FB page is for owners of holiday cottages to deal direct with holidaymakers so they don’t need to pay expensive booking fees via the big online booking sites (It’s Book Your Holidays Direct with the Owner of you want to have nosy – double oops with more blatant publicity!) – however you would not believe the problems we have with people posting not according to our very simple guidelines! I am not sure my blood pressure could cope with joining these other FB groups where there are so many cheaters.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 5:38 am

      Oh god, it sounds like hell! I am so happy I am not in charge with any groups like that. thanks for reading x

  56. October 3, 2016 / 5:49 am

    I don’t even bother with the Facebook groups and linky threads for that reason and if I have a busy day, I could be guilty too!! Linkies I can remember but even then with ours, rules not always followed! So annoying when you make the effort too xx #marvmondays

  57. Hooks and Dragons
    October 3, 2016 / 6:26 am

    I am so with you on this one. When I ran a linky there were people who blatently ignored the rules. Who wouldnt add a badge because it ‘messed up the look of their post) who ‘forgot to comment’ ir who tried added 3,4,sometimes even 5 posts to a linky over the course of the week.
    (One person was even a linky host herself, so WTF!!)
    As a host I quickly blocked these people as it was grossly unfair to everyone who did play by the rules. #marvmondays

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 6:32 am

      What she tried to put 5 posts? And she was running a linky herself? ! That is so funny! I can’t believe how unfair people can be…Thanks for commenting and being a fair blogger x

      • Hooks and Dragons
        October 3, 2016 / 6:33 am

        No the one who was a linky host wouldnt use our badge or comment. Another blogger tried adding 5 posts ?

  58. Kat
    October 3, 2016 / 7:03 am

    I only ever join threads if I know I can complete them and have time to that day, if I don’t think I will have time then I don’t join them. I’m sure I’ve accidentally missed some by mistake but that happens, we are all human, saying sorry takes no time at all and with follow threads it is so easy to fix! Down with the cheaters, share the #bloglove #kcacols

  59. Jane Taylor
    October 3, 2016 / 7:28 am

    Before I leave a comment I have just checked to make sure I am following you on Twitter! I am. I thought I was. I’m glad you came out and said what a lot of us are thinking! It drives me crazy. I am a conscientious person…If I have neglected something then its because I absolutely honestly got distracted and forgot and if I realise, then, like you, I am mortified for not following rules or letting someone down!

    What I notice on Crowdfire is there are loads of people I interact with regularly who probably THINK they ARE following me (at least I hope they do)! But they aren’t….It happens on Instagram and Twitter…It may also be the case that I think I am following them, but I’m not and it takes a while to realise! So PLEASE let me know (I won’t mind) if you look on Crowdfire and see I’m not following you when you think I should be…Chances are I thought I was already doing so!

    Great post! #marvmondays

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 7:38 am

      I am sure I am doing excatly the same. Sometimes I am so into tweeting to people that I don’t even notice taht I am not following with them! LOL I am not too worried about that, as long as I saty honest. SO happy to see that so many people agree with me with this . The minute I published it, I thought I was having a silly rant but it’s not the case! xx

  60. October 3, 2016 / 10:11 am

    It is annoying when people don’t follow the rules, especially when you are a rule-follower like me! I hope the rant made you feel better – sometimes a rant is good! #KCACOLS

  61. kleigh222
    October 3, 2016 / 10:22 am

    I really enjoyed reading this, I’m fairly new to blogging so really trying to get it right. I haven’t joined any linkys as I’m not sure I can commit, but I am part of a few facebook groups and I always follow everyone on a link list, it’s a great way to get know other blogs. This one popped up on my facebook feed so I’m glad I liked your page haha.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 11:58 am

      SO happy you liked my page and this post. Hope to see you agin soon x

  62. thetaleofmummyhood
    October 3, 2016 / 11:56 am

    Agreed! If you aren’t going to play nicely, why bother?


  63. October 3, 2016 / 11:15 am

    I’m really new to blogging and just discovering that this happens. I naively thought that everyone played fair and I’m just discovering that this is not the case! It is so frustrating and it needs highlighting. I am following you on twitter BTW 😉 #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 11:59 am

      Good! LOL. I am sure you will meet a lot of fantastic people on those groups though x

  64. mummyhereandthere
    October 3, 2016 / 12:29 pm

    Well said, rules are there to control order so play by ball X

  65. Liane
    October 3, 2016 / 1:14 pm

    Ohhh! I hate it when people don’t follow the rules on the Facebook groups or linkies! It’s not like its a hard thing to do 🙂 #MarvMondays

  66. October 3, 2016 / 2:29 pm

    My goodness 20 facebook groups! I am in just one and still like to get comments from linkies where i can, I like the idea it is optional not compulsory there. However I am very rule abiding in my facebook group and on linkies, I just think it’s rude to be any other way. #KCACOLS

  67. October 3, 2016 / 2:55 pm

    I think you should limit yourself to the amount of links/groups you have the time for. I only do about four linkys, i just dont have the stamina for anything else. I know its a bit cheeky but i cant get too worked up by people who dont follow the rules -just dont click on their stuff! its hard to remember everything. #kcacols

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 3:13 pm

      You are so nice! Unlike me hahah x

  68. Gisela Wilson
    October 3, 2016 / 3:07 pm

    Everybody can have a bad day and rant a lot, but yours was justified. ( I might be one of those offenders, lol)

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 3:14 pm

      hahaha, watch out, I will keep an eye for you! LOL thanks for stopping by x

  69. October 3, 2016 / 3:11 pm

    I ran a linky for the month of September for a blog challenge. It was the first time I’ve ever hosted a linky before. I visited each blog as soon as they linked up (signed up for the challenge) and read and commented on their most recent post. I tried to visit each blog periodically though out the month too to read their challenge submission. It was tough and I totally visited some more than others. There were also a bunch who signed up for the challenge then never attempted it. I deleted their names off the list! HA TAKE THAT!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 3:14 pm

      haha, we you are were in charge so you were the boss!

      • October 3, 2016 / 3:23 pm

        I even created the rules so that they fit every blogging style (every day, every other day, once a week..). It was kind of fun being the boss 🙂

  70. October 3, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    Rules are there for a reason, follow them! #KCACOLS

  71. andanothertenthings
    October 3, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    I do try and follow the rules and often don’t join threads on Facebook pages because I know I won’t be able to fulfill the requirements. However, Facebook does block you if you like too many pages in quick succession so maybe people are going to like the other pages eventually but don’t want to pee off Facebook. Also, I struggle with threads where people can ask for any favour – I’ll usually ask for a retweet or like but often people ask for their Facebook page to be shared. I’m sorry but I’m not going to share 50+ Facebook pages all at once. I might do eventually but not in a short space of time. It’s about balance. #KCACOLS

  72. Julie From Superficial Gallery
    October 3, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    I’m not in any Facebook groups and now I’m thinking I don’t want to be in any Facebook groups. My problem is that I’m an ex-mommy blogger who is now social media director of an entertainment website that doesn’t necessarily mesh well with the moms but I’m trying to grow their network so I’m hitting up all my old haunts and have been commenting on all the linkies. The problem I’m having after having commented on maybe fifty posts, I’ve only gotten about four return comments. I know I’m not a mom blog but I’m still making an effort and it’s not really paying off!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 3, 2016 / 8:07 pm

      I am so sorry to hear that! I know what you mean. People say the more you comment, the more #bloglove you get… Well, it doesn’t seem to be the case…Thanks for expressing your frustration xx

  73. Julie From Superficial Gallery
    October 3, 2016 / 8:08 pm

    Also, I looked for your Facebook page to like it but didn’t see it in the sidebar. You’re totally my style. I would like to follow you.

  74. theirishbabyfairy
    October 3, 2016 / 8:32 pm

    This really annoys me too, I almost always play by the rules and expect the same standards from others. I love apps like crowdfire and instafollow, it gives me great pleasure and satisfaction to unfilled anyone that’s unfollowed me. You nearly know the people that are going to do it when you see they have thousands of followers and follow a hundred or so people themselves. #KCACOLS

  75. thesingleswan
    October 3, 2016 / 8:47 pm

    Ah yes! I am not on Facebook (or rather Pen from the Single Swan is not on FB) so I don’t do the whole Facebook group thing, but I do join up to a few linkies each week. If you don’t have the time to do the reciprocal commenting then you shouldn’t really be linking your blog post. I try to plan commenting time into my blogging schedule. I have been guilty in the past of linking and not doing my fair share of commenting though! Pen x #KCACOLS

  76. October 3, 2016 / 9:20 pm

    I agree, it’s so frustrating when people don’t follow simple rules. I always try to follow them, although sometimes mid way through the week (and usually at night!) I start to panic that I’ve totally forgotten about a linky and haven’t made any comments at all! I don’t think I could cope with the stress if I tried to cheat! 😉 #KCACOLS

  77. organisedjo
    October 3, 2016 / 9:33 pm

    Totally agree, if you can’t complete the task don’t join in! I love giving #bloglove but also believe that you get back what you give, plus I have such a conscience I wouldn’t be able to live with my myself if I didn’t do what the rules said! #MarvMondays

  78. One Messy Mama
    October 4, 2016 / 1:27 am

    I hope you feel better. Sometimes it is better to write it all down. And Baba is just gorgeous eating that Banana.. 🙂 #KCACOLS

  79. Allyson Greene
    October 4, 2016 / 6:42 am

    You are preaching to the choir. Before I took my blogging break I had begun to leave fb groups because the admins did nothing about the rules and I was tired of clicking, liking, following, pinning, and sharing to get not even half response back. Now that I am back I am seeing it all over again. If you dont have the time that day just ski the thread dont drop and run! I even told on someone today in one of my fav groups because she has never once followed the rules in 7 month. Maybe the rule breakers wont get banned but I do think other bloggers notice and shunned is almost as bad as banned ! #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 4, 2016 / 8:10 am

      This is very poor! I know that admin already have a lot to do and they don’t want to play the police but if someone cheat for 7 months, they should ban this person! Thanks for your comment. I agree with you x

  80. Sarah (Mum x3x)
    October 4, 2016 / 8:10 am

    Same here!! It is so frustrating when people just cheat in these facebook groups. It’s happened to me SO many times! I put so much time into completing the threads and it annoys me when people don’t do the same back 🙁 Could have wrote this rant myself, haha. #KCACOLS

  81. October 4, 2016 / 8:20 am

    I read this last week and feel your pain. It’s the same with linkys- I always feel a bit miffed when I comment on as many posts as I can and only get a couple of measly comments back, or worse still, people not reading my post properly. “I’m glad your son is better now”. Err no, he’s dead actually. FFS!!! Thanks so much for joining us for #marvmondays. See you back next week x

  82. October 4, 2016 / 8:38 am

    I am yet to venture into Facebook groups – but really feel that I need to start! But this kind of behaviour would drive me crazy! I always play be the rules on linkies (albeit I’m usually a little late to get around to commenting – but I always do eventually!) I don’t know why people would cheat, what’s the point?? Another thing that really gets my back up is those bloggers who follow you just so you follow back and then unfollow you – haven’t they heard of Crowdfire?? Drives me mad, it’s so selfish x #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 4, 2016 / 9:28 am

      I must say I do that sometimes! hahaha, but it’s not like I promised anything. xx

  83. October 4, 2016 / 9:33 am

    And this is why I ditched Facebook! First and foremost I am a mummy and any spare time I have after that (bwaaaaah) is precious. Sod off time wasters! #KCACOLS

  84. October 4, 2016 / 11:04 am

    I have joined some of these type of promote your blog facebook groups but to be honest I just haven’t got time to go through and do everything. which is why I typically don’t join them – or at least not consistently! I much prefer linkies because I really like then sharing the content I LIKE on my facebook or twitter. rather than just likes for likes etc. I did just like your page on fb tho hehe 😉 it is annoying but its the nature of being online I guess, and relatively anonymous?! try not to stress it too much and maybe focus more on the bloggers you know a bit better 🙂 #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 4, 2016 / 1:01 pm

      Good advice. I thikn you are so right here. It must be the teacher in me who was talking… Thanks for following my page on FB xx

      • October 5, 2016 / 7:31 pm

        Hehe or just that some people are just rude and take the what not!! X

  85. shinnersandthebrood
    October 4, 2016 / 1:36 pm

    This is a really interesting post. I have joined in a few linkys since starting out last month and I find them a super way of finding new blogs to follow (such are your own!) and promoting own blog posts. I haven’t heard of the Facebook groups at all. I’m getting the sense from the comments here that maybe they are not worth it? Am I wrong? I’m very conscious of getting it wrong in the blogger etiquette department too. I will be using your notebook tip so make sure I am following all the rules!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 4, 2016 / 2:35 pm

      I think they are worth it if the admin are strict and ban people who cheat. Otherwise, I am quite happy to confront a person within the comments if I catch them cheating. I might be banned from a group for being too brutal (I would see asserrtive but we all have a different perception) but it’s worth it as other people will know! xx

  86. October 4, 2016 / 2:48 pm

    This is why I try and avoid those type of threads. I’m in a few FB groups and try to at least read several other people’s posts for every one of mine that I drop, but much like many linkies, it seems I’m reading much more than I’m being read. Nothing much to be done about it I suppose #KCACOLS

  87. October 4, 2016 / 3:00 pm

    I agree that it’s so frustrating when we follow the rules and others don’t. #KCACOLS

  88. October 4, 2016 / 3:01 pm

    I agree that it’s so frustrating when we follow the rules and others don’t. #KCACOLS

  89. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops
    October 4, 2016 / 7:08 pm

    Oh this is one of my pet peeves, it really makes me see red! Why join in when you have no intention of reciprocating, why!?!?! I mean we are all human, we make mistakes, we forget, we overlook things occasionally. But to sign up, agree to the rules by taking part and then not doing it, it’s just annoying and wrong … and as you can see I get really worked up about it. haha. #KCACOLS

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 4, 2016 / 7:16 pm

      I am so happy you did, because I did too hahaha. Thanks for being so honest x

  90. October 4, 2016 / 7:24 pm

    ooh I feel your frustration, I think I follow the rules, I hope so anyway lol! #KCACOLS

  91. October 4, 2016 / 9:29 pm

    Well said!! I don’t take part in linky’s often because, like you, I can’t commit enough time to them… It pees me off when other people don’t commit either. Then there’s linkies where the host doesn’t even comment which really pisses me off because they’re getting all this traffic and links and they can’t be bothered running it like they should! Grr! #kcacols (#kcacols is the only one I do now and it’s the best!!)!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 4, 2016 / 9:30 pm

      I agree about linkies where people runnig them son’t comment. You always see it when they don’t so it… So sad! Thanks for reading and following us. So great to heave you on board x

  92. Laura antill
    October 5, 2016 / 9:50 am

    Blooming cheek of some people.. Im def a rule follower.

  93. caradevaney
    October 5, 2016 / 9:25 pm

    See this is why I can’t bring myself to get Crowdfire, I would become so obsessed and pissed off with the follow/unfollow thing. I try so hard not to look at the numbers especially when I do linkies or threads, its just so irritating!

  94. October 6, 2016 / 1:47 pm

    Such a shame that some ruin it for others isn’t it? 🙁 x #KCACOLS

  95. October 6, 2016 / 2:24 pm

    It really can be so frustrating when people link and run when most otheres take the time to make sure it works. with the amount of linkups and facebook groups around these days, I just dont have the time to keep up with them all and still run my blog (and my family 🙂 ) #KCACOLS

  96. October 6, 2016 / 6:04 pm

    Tweeted! In all honesty, I have slowed way down on the Facebook threads. It generates traffic, but it infuriates me when I am constantly breaking even with Instagram/Twitter followers, because so many people follow then unfollow. And when people like your comment and don’t complete the task (as you mentioned), I find myself fuming. It’s frustrating! I just try to remember that the MAJORITY of people are honest and do participate as they are supposed to!

    Great post!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 6, 2016 / 6:59 pm

      I think you have the right attitude. Thanks for stopping by xx

  97. Meet Valerie
    October 6, 2016 / 9:30 pm

    I love this and I agree! I always do my best to follow the rules in Facebook groups, but sometimes I fail. I am so glad I read this and thank you for being brave enough to share.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 6, 2016 / 9:42 pm

      I actually confronted some people on a thread and let the admin know but they did nothing… just not taking part for a little while I think…

  98. October 7, 2016 / 6:00 am

    I agree with you about the cheaters who bait you with a follow and then unfollow after you follow them. I’ve been running into this a lot on IG and it’s usually someone with a huge following already. I use Crowdfire too so I know who unfollows me. I’ve tried politely asked if the unfollow was a mistake and only a few even respond. So my rule now is follow for follow, unfollow for unfollow.


    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 7, 2016 / 8:03 am

      I do the same. Thanks for stopping by x

  99. October 7, 2016 / 6:11 am

    I completely agree! Those that don’t follow the rules really p**s me off, as I always try to. Unfortunately there are some people in this world that are just out for themselves! #KCACOLS

    • YouMadeMyDay
      October 7, 2016 / 7:32 am

      That is so typical of these kind of “sharing is caring” groups… Some people only care about themselves… And I guess, we have to just forget them and keep doing what we like and doing it right as you do. I feel the same but everytime it happens (like everyday!) I just tell myself that they are not worth it, and that if they don’t like what I do (or don’t even take the time to take a look at what they are liking or commenting), well, they are not my niche and it won’t do any good to my blog or social media. Just focus on those good vibes you encounter with other honest players! Cheers!

  100. October 7, 2016 / 7:58 am

    This is actually why I’m not joining linkys at the moment; I just don’t have time to do all of the return commenting. And I always wanted to leave proper comments, not just “fan post, Hun” or whatever. So I figure it’s best just not to join than it is to do so and be THAT person! I’m glad you wrote this. I’m not on Facebook, but I used my husband’s account once to join a blogger group and I just couldn’t dedicate the time to it, so I sent a message to the admin explaining my situation and left the group so someone else could join. X

  101. Nadia - ScandiMummy
    October 7, 2016 / 8:17 am

    Unfortunately I think there will be people like this in whatever you do. It’s sad, but you can’t force people to be decent so I wouldn’t waste my anger on them. Also, end of the day wouldn’t you prefer people liking your sites because they actually want to, not because they had to? I think it’s good to support each other with these type of things, but if someone them chooses to unfollow so be it… their loss more than yours I would say 🙂 #KCACOLS

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

  102. Family Makes
    October 7, 2016 / 4:14 pm

    Well said! The blogging community is so lovely, it would be an absolute shame to deprive your fellow bloggers of the comments they so deserve. #KCACOLS

  103. October 8, 2016 / 9:22 am

    Facebook terrifies me I haven’t got round to properly getting involved with all the blog groups etc, it is amazing how much work people put into them and how dedicated bloggers are, I have so much respect for everyone! I am sad you have had a bad experience but its good to let it all out and feel better #KCACOLS

  104. kage2015
    October 8, 2016 / 11:44 am

    I am clapping. You nailed all our feelings. I try really hard to follow all the rules. Feel bad if I make a mistake.

  105. October 8, 2016 / 11:49 am

    Ahhh I get real anxiety about this. There have been several times when I have joined things and just missed doing them – through nothing but absent-mindedness… It doesn’t happen that often but I reckon I do it at least once a month. I usually do the catch up. But, just so you know, if I ever do it to anyone reading it is entirely accidental! #KCACOLS

  106. Nicole @ yumsome
    October 8, 2016 / 8:36 pm

    I got into a heated disagreement on a food bloggers social sharing group on FB not so long ago.

    The idea was that you ‘yum’ (as in, share to Yummly) every one of the posts above you in the thread, and in return, they would all yum yours.

    The rule was that you had to yum all the posts, unless there was a moral or religious reason not to, in which case you had to find something on that particular blog you *did* feel comfortable with.

    Sounds easy, right?

    1. I’m vegan, so while I am not in any way a preachy person, I was still not prepared to publicise meaty dishes. In most cases this was not a problem – most bloggers had vegan recipes I could share (I yummed lots of salads!). However, there were two who had absolutely nothing on their blogs I was happy sharing. I left them replies to say why I hadn’t shared their stuff; one suggested I yum a cheese recipe, so I reminded her that it contained an animal product. She was OK about it, and let it go.

    The other one was a total harpy! Her blog consisted of tales and photographs of all the animals she’d shot, plus how to cook some of them. But most of the animals she killed, she did so for ‘sport’, not for food.

    Honestly, there was not even one vegetable dish. Not even a condiment! I politely told her that I couldn’t find anything to share but if she had a vegan recipe that I’d missed, I’d be happy to yum it.

    She went apesh!t at me, calling me all the names under the sun, saying there must be something wrong with me if I didn’t eat meat, and that ‘freaks’ like me were ruining life for ‘hard-working meat eaters’ (her words, not mine!) like her. I really don’t think I was the one with issues, TBH!

    And I don’t see how I, living in Slovenia, could possibly affect her Texan life!

    2. Over half of the blogs I looked at didn’t even have a search function, and most of them had not indexed their recipes at all, so instead of being able to hit the recipe tab in the nav menu, I had to manually search through every. Single. Post. Until I found something suitable.

    3. There were 93 posts above mine. It took me 4.5 hours to go through them all. I died a little inside.

    4. Eight people yummed my recipe in return. Eight. Out of 93 (well, I guess 91, if you exclude the two I couldn’t share).

    And it was my awesome chocolate pudding recipe too.

    I wasn’t the only one it happened to though – I went through some of the comments, and discovered that most people seemed to just be adding their links to the thread, and not even attempting to share other people’s links. Needless to say that the eight people who shared my link also shared everyone else’s.

    I left a message to say that I thought they were all incredibly selfish, and that the group owners needed to enforce the rules, and set an example. Then I left the group! I doubt it had any effect on their behaviour at all but it made me feel better!


    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 8, 2016 / 8:55 pm

      hahah you did what was best for you and that’s great. 8 people only following the rules is appaling! I once contacted a damin to say that a person cheted every week. She banned me from the group to later on apologise and say that she had the wrong Cecile. I doubt there is any Cecile in a us group… LOL I accepeted to come back as she realised her mistake but I sear the day I see the cheater’s name in a thread, I will not even bother pretend I did what was asked! Good for you for quitting the groups. It is disgusting! xxx

      • Nicole @ yumsome
        October 8, 2016 / 11:35 pm

        I think the thing that annoys me the most though, is that if you complain, very often people accuse you of whining or being childish.

        Of course, they are the people who always break the rules. By that logic, it’s an adult thing to break rules, right? And that it’s OK to do so.

        I wonder how those same people feel about their kids breaking the rules at home?

        Honestly. people who behave like that really p!ss me off! LOL!

  107. Michael Noker
    October 10, 2016 / 9:48 am

    Ooooh my god this infuriates me to no end – and I see it constantly. Actually, I’d love to know which group/thread you participated in where only four people failed to do what they were supposed to. I usually get, like, maybe one or two people (out of god knows how many) who actually follow through. I also see a lot of people who seem to do the right thing until they post (and then they never check back on the comments below).

    Likewise for the follow/unfollow thing. I get that from a lot of smaller YouTubers in particular – they’ll follow me, I follow back, I get their auto-DM telling me to check out their channel and they’ll sub back etc. etc. and then within 24 hours they’ve unfollowed me. No. Duh-lete. I’ve been considering shouting them out after, but I can’t bring myself to be that mean.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 10, 2016 / 9:52 am

      hahahaI agree with you on all the points. I think that if Admin are not following up, then people don’t care and truly there is no point participating if people put their feed and then don’t follow each other. The thread I mentionned if a mummy bloggers group on Facebook. The admin is very strict. It’s why it works really but it must be so exhausting for her to chase people up like children… I would hate it!

  108. Emma T
    October 11, 2016 / 9:12 am

    Winds me up too. I don’t tend to do follow threads or those mix up ones, because I refuse to RT posts I don’t want to, and I don’t want to follow everyone…plus if I do sometimes I end up unfollowing by accident because I can’t remember if they were from a FB group or not.

    Now I rarely use FB groups for threads because they eat up so much time especially if it’s not my niche. I stick with a couple of linkies where people do actually reciprocate. Because a lot don’t outside the hosts.

  109. October 12, 2016 / 5:04 pm

    I can’t like this article enough times! My mother helps me keep up with Facebook threads (she loves reading posts), but I could never do it without her, it is to time consuming and it sucks when people don’t do there part!

  110. October 13, 2016 / 6:49 am

    This is why I don’t often take part in these things anymore. They get right on my (lack of) tits. #stayclassy

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 13, 2016 / 6:52 am

      lol thanks for reading x

  111. beautiesandthebibs
    October 13, 2016 / 7:37 am

    This is sooo annoying I’m with you on this . My time to do things is very little but I make sure to complete threads if I take part shame others don’t have the same attitude !! #stayclassymama

  112. October 13, 2016 / 8:26 am

    I HATE this!!!! Not the post, I love the post, but when people do this – it enrages me!! I take part in a blog commenting group and every week I will comment on the other fifteen and sometimes only receive one or two comments back. It’s the same with linkies too, sometimes I will comment on ten+ and receive just one or two comments, it’s so frustrating! The worst is the ones who pretend to like your pages though, that’s just sneaky isn’t it! Or like it…and then UNLIKE it!!!! Agghh! #stayclassymama

  113. October 13, 2016 / 8:35 am

    Now THAT is annoying! I don’t put my link in if I know I am not going to follow other people’s, it doesn’t seem fair to me. I think I saw that follow thread you’re talking about and there is some massive cheating going on, MEH. I wish there was some sort of Internet police lol. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

  114. theseasonalchild
    October 13, 2016 / 10:20 am

    Oh my! I haven’t experienced the facebook challenges myself, but that sounds beyond frustrating! No wonder you’re p***ed off, I was getting angry just reading it! haha! #StayClassyMama

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 13, 2016 / 10:24 am

      It made me feel so much better writing this post… YOu have no idea. Thanks for reading x

  115. October 13, 2016 / 1:44 pm

    Yeah, I recently joined a thread where not all the participants took part. I don’t have time to chase them up about it, which is what they might rely on. I’d be annoyed with myself if I thought I’d not complied. #stayclassymama

  116. Notaneffingfairytale
    October 13, 2016 / 6:18 pm

    Boils my piss. I tend to stay away from the Facebook groups, this sort of thing winds me up way more than it should.


  117. Squirmy Popple
    October 13, 2016 / 7:07 pm

    Blogging is supposed to be all about the community and sharing the blogging love, right? It’s for fair if people drop links in linkys and don’t comment, or join FB threads asking people to like/share their posts and don’t return the favour. The whole thing falls apart if people are only out for themselves. #stayclassymama

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 13, 2016 / 7:33 pm

      yep, I had again a conversation with one of those people to tell her to keep quiet hahaha. I can’t control myself! LOL Thanks for reading x

  118. October 13, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    I tend to not do those linky/follow things so much because i don’t have time and I don’t really want my twitter feed filled with stuff I’m not interested in. On the occasion I do, I wouldn’t ever bother to notice who followed me or didn’t. I just think, as on the odd occasion I dump and run on a link group, the fact that I usually read around and comment should make up for it. Life gets busy…Follow who you like and don’t worry about those that do the same…

  119. October 14, 2016 / 4:11 pm

    Bonsoir! Je l’aime ce post (d’accord, je suis desolee pour le merde francais!). It’s so funny! There are a certain few who really are selfish and just out for what they can get, and there are some who are just forgetful and join too many things and can’t remember their committments. But the majority of us are nice so don’t lose heart! My pet hate is people joining in a “like” a post thread on facebook and then they like it as their page….which only benefits them as it only increases their own visibility. Which defeats the object entirely.

    One thing I will say though is, if you use crowdfire….do you have it set up to auto message on twitter to thank them for the follow? Because even though it seems like a nice thing to do, it puts loads of people off because they know it’s a robot. I hope that’s not offensive?! I just know that lots of bloggers have said in groups that they will automatically unfollow someone who uses this function! Which is harsh (I don’t btw!). Anyway #StayClassyMama!

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 14, 2016 / 5:59 pm

      Thanks for your honest opinion. I will check out this option for sure x

  120. Margaret Gallagher
    October 14, 2016 / 4:56 pm

    You’ve all made my afternoon’s reading a delightful treat
    I don’t do linkies or write blogs BUT I do like reading these
    Really haven’t a clue why people don’t follow the rules
    Not surprised about your rant -new to most groups but even if have spotted some cheats
    Take note of the cheats -they’ll get their just rewards and hopefully a ban
    Keep up your great work x

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 14, 2016 / 6:00 pm

      You are right. I have to admit it really made me feel better to write this rant haha . thanks for reading x

      • Margaret GALLAGHER
        October 14, 2016 / 9:02 pm

        It was a good rant to have x

  121. fionajk42
    October 15, 2016 / 7:40 pm

    Unfortunately there are always more takers than givers, especially when there is no easy way to name and shame people who do not behave honestly on social media. I always feel sad when I am entering a competition and I see that the blogger posting the competition has commented that people should not follow / like etc. to enter the competition, then unfollow / unlike the next day. If the blogger has to put this in writing, it invariably means that someone has cheated on them this way, entering the competition on a bogus basis. You are quite justified to have your “rant” about it, these people are not playing by the rules.

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 15, 2016 / 9:21 pm

      I have never seen this but it is so sad… Thanks for reaindg x

  122. October 17, 2016 / 3:44 pm

    Girl, thank you for saying all of this!! I have literally fallen asleep at the keyboard once or twice trying to reciprocate on time. I don’t have the inclination to check who is doing it back, BUT I can do basic math and often these things just don’t add up. I’d like to say people who cheat are only hurting themselves, but no, they’re hurting us too. Also, it irks me that the cheaters often seem to be “bigger” bloggers (with high traffic/social media #s, etc.) As if they are too lofty to be tainted by us lowly peons. I’ve heard the excuse “I only share things that align with my brand”, which A. I don’t believe because they’ll shill everything under the sun for a few dollars and B. Is fantastic! But if that’s the case, why are they slumming it in our groups?

    Haha! You seem to have touched a nerve. 🙂

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 17, 2016 / 5:39 pm

      I think I have and I am so happy that many people like you agree with me. Bored of this cheating! But it’s not worth checking… Thanks for reading x

  123. October 18, 2016 / 3:43 pm

    I’m sure I have goofed and not followed all the rules on a link up or facebook group, but what discourages me is that I belong to some small link parties and I make it a point to visit everyone’s blog and comment on their post, but hardly anyone comments back- maybe just the host. One week, I could understand, but after weeks and weeks of someone commenting on your post and you never return the love? I don’t get it….

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 18, 2016 / 4:14 pm

      Yeah, I know what you mean. I think I am actually guilty of it. I take part in so many linkies that I am trying to visit as many different bloggers and sometimes when I have commented I don’t necessarly come back and chek new posts…

  124. Julie @ Logger's Wife
    October 18, 2016 / 4:48 pm

    I won’t participate in threads like those because I don’t want to be a cheater. I am picky about who I follow. I’ll do the “follow at least 3-5” type share threads but not the “follow all” ones because I know there were be a ton I don’t want to follow and it’s so much work to make sure you get everyone that posted after you. I actually rarely do any of those threads anymore anyway due to a serious lack of time for Facebook groups and because I’d rather people like my social media stuff because they actually like it, not because they have to. (visiting from the Happy Now link party)

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 18, 2016 / 6:10 pm

      I understand, I also cut down on them or I do special mummy bloggers like me! Thanks for sharing x

  125. playdatesparties
    October 21, 2016 / 11:51 am

    Linky parties and facebook groups are definitely difficult to do properly and not burn out. I’ve been so busy with projects and kids lately that I’ve cut way back on both. And I always felt guilty whenever I participated in a FB group but didn’t finish the requirement in time. Thanks for joining the #happynowlinkup!

  126. stevehetesi
    October 26, 2016 / 8:10 am

    This was a fun thing to read to start the day 🙂 Well said. I am not experienced in groups and staff but It definitely showed me when I do how to doit properly.
    People,never mess with a Mumzilla! 🙂

    • thefrenchiemummy
      October 26, 2016 / 8:57 am

      haha exactly! Thanks for reading

  127. Cole
    October 27, 2016 / 2:04 am

    I totally get the frustration! I was really active on Facebook groups for a while, but it is A LOT of work and because I wasn’t up for it I cut back on it. Which is what people should do!

  128. Renee Groskreutz
    October 28, 2016 / 7:30 pm

    I am so glad that you brought this up. I try so hard to make sure that I abide by every single rule on these groups. There are without doubt times that I have missed something or messed up but by golly I try.

  129. October 28, 2016 / 11:23 pm

    YES! Spot on. I think there are always going to be cheaters though 🙁 xx

  130. November 11, 2016 / 9:37 am

    Facebook irritates and those threads irritate me. I don’t think that those threads help anyone. All they do is boost your figures, they aren’t real followers, they aren’t really people that are engaged in your blog. For a long time I was buying into it and then I decided that it is fake. Blogging should be about the writing. At least with a linky you know that the person has chosen to read and comment on your blog. I didn’t have to read this post, you were not directly before me but I chose to. I would rather have a few quality comments, a few followers rather than a ton of fake followers who have no interest in my blog. #effitfriday

    • Cecile Blaireau
      November 11, 2016 / 10:57 am

      Yeah, you are certainly right. I have not given up on it as I met other fab bloggers with some groups but maybe one day I will. Thanks for reading x

  131. November 13, 2016 / 1:18 pm

    I do take part in groups and always complete, or let people know if it’s going to take me a bit longer to complete. If someone or a group of people don’t complete on a thread I usually politely tag them and I’ve never had a case where the task as committed to wasn’t completed. But I’m careful with what I commit to – usually comments- because I don’t think the follow for follows really work and it’s been shown that they can be detrimental to your reach, as they won’t engage. As a blogger – I get your rage – totally!

    • Cecile Blaireau
      November 13, 2016 / 2:39 pm

      merci x

  132. Lisa backsnbumps
    November 16, 2016 / 5:33 pm

    Haha epic rant and clearly something people agree on judging by all these comments. I agree with you. I make sure I complete asap but then I don’t have time to go back and check how many others have done the same to mine. Drives me a bit mad.

    • Cecile Blaireau
      November 16, 2016 / 5:36 pm

      I know… I am sure sometimes I forgot some stuff as we are all busy but I hate when people deny… thanks for reading hope to see you again xx

  133. November 17, 2016 / 3:13 pm

    I totally agree! I always try to do everything on time as you know, spread love and it comes back to you. I’m a big believer in Karma and those who don’t play nice will get the same in return.

  134. November 17, 2016 / 5:16 pm

    I nearly wrote this last week! I’ve tagged them and still no response. It’s a comment thread and only 5 of us in it so only 4 comments each. How hard is that? I’d even be happy with “great post” than nothing at all. Lol. So I rarely join anymore because of this and I am so glad I’m not the only one who feels the same.

    • Cecile Blaireau
      November 17, 2016 / 9:24 pm

      I am sure so many of us feel like that. I reached the point where I confront them. I got kicked out a group once because of that. It made me laugh! x

  135. January 2, 2017 / 3:02 am

    Didn’t have time to read through 200+ comments, but I would like to say that I *HATE* when people comment on my Facebook posts containing a link, but do not actually click on the article to see what it says. You can even tell by the type of comment that is left.

    • Cecile Blaireau
      January 3, 2017 / 3:21 pm

      I see what you mean but sometimes I read the posts and I put a very general comment as I might find it difficult or don’t want to upset people x

  136. Tasha - Mummy&Moose
    January 24, 2017 / 10:59 pm

    I just don’t understand it. We all know how hard it can be to grow our social media – I might be new to blogging but I have built my business so I know what a slog it is (and boy do I wish I had started this years ago when I first was tempted)

    Why would people want to make it even harder? I don’t see other bloggers as competition. Interesting, hilarious and occasional brow-raising but not competition. I want to see them do well. I want to see us all do well. There is certainly enough room for us all – I am not interested though in those who want to tear others down for their own gain.
    Perhaps I still have a lot to learn (I definitely do) but I am just not into that at all.

  137. Nadine
    February 13, 2017 / 9:44 am

    You have taken the thoughts out of my head with this! I’ve recently just left a pod as I was spending time completing the tasks even when I didn’t leave any links of my own (as the rules state) and out of 11 others in the pod, I’d get 3-4 comments max. I was getting better reach from family and friends! It wasn’t the hosts fault in this case, but I have been part of other groups when the host doesn’t even follow their own rules! I really don’t understand why you’d join a thread with no intention of following the rules.

    • Cecile Blaireau
      February 13, 2017 / 11:32 am

      I think sometimes you can forget, I have done it I am sure. But I hate when they do it on purpose!

  138. Kate
    June 15, 2017 / 9:57 pm

    This annoys me so much too! I’ve been blogging for about 4 years now, and for the first 3.75 years I wrote for my own enjoyment and any growth or following I got out of it was entirely coincidental and organic (and also very small). A few months ago I decided I wanted to connect with more bloggers so I joined a few Facebook groups, naively expecting most people to be in it for similar reasons and thus would be honest about what was required from the group. I have gained many new followers on all of my social platforms, yet the engagement is not nearly as good as it was with my previous tiny following and some have unfollowed within a few days. I am still glad I joined the Facebook groups because I have gained some good new followers and have discovered many others I like, but sometimes the people drive me crazy with their lack of integrity.

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