You wanna be a mummy blogger?!

‘You wanna do what?!’ Grumpy boyfriend can’t contain his surprise when I eventually dare talking about my new project. I want to write a blog about being a young mummy in London. Totally perplexed at first, he then laughs so much he nearly chokes. I knew it. I knew he would immediately take the mick out of me.

Fair enough to him, I am not much in the social world and I am not really a geek who loves learning new stuff online by herself. Indeed, I am the incarnation of impatience, especially when it involves computers. Ask my previous laptop. I used to slam it if something was wrong. Or if things were not loading fast enough or not working MY way (very often because I DID something wrong), I would stamp on the table like a mad woman ‘Putain de computer de merde!!’ Yeah, you’re right. I am blaspheming in French. Well, that’s not a good start. Plus, what is a domain name? And a widget? What a weird word…Who came up with such an idea?! Someone needs to show me how to hyperlink a website, insert pictures and other stuff. I know how to do this kind of stuff, but only with some software that I use at school…

Grumpy Boyfriend is quick at reading in my mind. ‘Do it, as long as you have fun. But I won’t have time to help you. I am mega busy with work’. ‘Merde, I am on my own with this one… Pas de problème! I can easily find a tutorial online and work it out by myself. Grumpy Boyfriend to continue, ‘You will probably need to be on Twitter and Instagram as well’. Double whammy; more stuff to discover and learn. I am a big girl, I can do it. After all, before staring my teacher training, I never ever PowerPoint and I am (kind of) an expert now. I admit, sometimes I am still not quite sure with some options, but I am merding so much (Merde! Putain!), Grumpy Boyfriend comes to the rescue and fixes it for me.

Well, that I not the reaction I was hoping for. I have been thinking about writing a blog for a while now. It’s not encouraging to see Grumpy Boyfriend laughing at me as soon as I dare talking about it. But he is not the only one not being super enthusiastic.

When I tell ma copine R, she is far from being excited either. ‘Yeah, cool. Apparently, a lot of chicks are doing that kind of stuff. What are you doing on Thursday?’ So blasée… She also asked me if I plan to write in French. Nope. ‘Why not?’ I am afraid I can’t answer this question. I just decided so. I know it’s stupid, especially when I am calling myself the Frenchie Mummy right? I will sometimes use some French.

I start feeling frustrated. Why on earth nobody is showing some kind of excitement or at least some support? Wouldn’t hurt at the moment, really… I do some research. Blogging, vlogging (or whatever online revolution I haven’t heard of yet) is massive at the moment. Indeed, there are 76.5 million blogs on WordPress. And I was thinking that I would be different from the other mummies… But the good news is that 232 million people use Twitter. Surely, I can find my audience amongst ce petit monde?

Next to know the great news is my beloved mum. ‘Ouh Là Là! Mais tu as trop de travail avec Baba et la maison!’ Funny that she says that I am way too busy to start this kind of project. What mum really means is that I should do more housework. I imagine her very well: ‘Mais quel désordre ici!’ Mum probably thinks that I should get on with the hoover. And cook de bons petits plats for Grumpy Boyfriend. I admit, I am not the tidiest person on the planet, but I don’t want to spend my year off work just cooing at Baba and cleaning the windows for the third time in two months. Just an example, I barely clean them once a year anyway.

I am not even trying to discuss the matter with Papa. The poor soul doesn’t have the internet. He doesn’t know what Facebook is. So I, trying to explain what a blog is, would be a mission. Furthermore, my dad has not yet understood what I find attractive about living abroad. Deep down, I am the black sheep who decided to leave to England eight years ago. And it’s pretty clear that I am not being forgiven yet. So the idea to write about my life in English would be a sacrilege, to say the least…

All these doubts are just giving me the biggest headache ever now. Zut! I am going to write this blog and nothing can stop me anymore. Je m’en fous if people think it’s absolutely rubbish (I do actually care, but I will pretend the opposite). Let’s do it. Un, deux, trois… Here we go, I published my first post. Baba is smiling at me in his bouncer. It’s a good sign (Let’s hope!).

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