A mummy ticks so many boxes

Everyone would tell you that a mummy worthy of the name ticks many boxes. She is like a multi-skilled ninja on a mission to make bébé or les enfants happy. Occasionally, she is trying to do the same with the other half as well, but they are not that important anymore.

Admirer, chauffeur, cleaner (yuck, the worst in my opinion…), cook, devotee, educator, friend, nurse, pillow, referee (with multiple kids), slave, supporter, and so many other labels that I am missing out here. C’est une maman!

I have only been being a mum for less than 6 months, but yet, I already ticked many boxes.

  • Having to feed le monstre (Baba) on the bus, tick. Did you miss Une photo, une histoire #1? It’s all in there so check it out. Attention! You might see a gorgeous babe. Just warning you…
  • Cleaning the baby in the boot as there were no other facilities when he did a massive moutarde, I mean énorme! Tick! Let me set the scene. We were out and about all day. Eating nice food and having fun on a sunny day (for once! I have to say): c’était parfait. The day went by and we decided to go to a less busy beach. No need to say that I changed la couche before leaving. It would have been too easy. Baba fell asleep very quickly. Too quickly en fait…Next thing I knew, it was obvious he had done a massive poo when there were absolutely no facilities to change him. So I had no choice but rip his clothes off while he was lying in the boot and clean the dirty monkey on the car park… Now I am ready for ANYTHING 😁.
  • Leaving the house not properly dressed , meaning like any other human being. Double-tick! I am becoming a champion at that…Once I was out with some friends having lunch in a pub, I suddenly realised that my top’s label was rubbing against my chest. Yep, I put it the other way round. Either way, nobody noticed it or my friends are very polite ladies…

Another example in this category took place just yesterday. As usual, we were leaving in a rush to go food shopping. My highlight of the day… Walking around the shop, I could see lots of people looking at me. I was wearing a nice beige dress. ‘Hum, people love my style’ I thought proudly. Reaching the till, packing the grocery away, paying it all, I caught the shop assistant giving me a weird look. At this point, I hadn’t realised my mistake yet. It’s only once we reached the carpark that I noticed the label was outside. In a rush to get ready, I put my dress inside out! No wonder why people were staring at me! I mean seriously. How embarrassing! I can’t believe Grumpy Boyfriend didn’t see anything. He is supposed to be the brainy one! No need to say that I will avoid this shop for the next ten years at least…

  • Leaving shops without paying. Tick as well! You know what it’s like with the buggy, the bags all over it. You rush to do whatever you have to do. So once in Boots, I got to the till. Now let me tell you. I was in the baby section, so you would think that the facility is fitted for customers like me. Grave erreur! Struggling to manage the pram in the queue, I eventually reached the till and unpacked all my shop: nappies, milk and more baby stuff. I literally bought the entire shop as I was stocking up for a couple of weeks. Around 12pm and the shop is full of people getting some lunch. No need to say that I got some dirty looks in the queue with my big shop. Furthermore, I stepped on a guy’s foot when I tried to reach the till. The queue area was ridiculously tight! I am a champion at driving around la poussette and even I was struggling! I was such in a rush to pack everything quickly so that all people can pay for their sandwich and carry on with their too short break. I was trying to be so nice indeed. So I put all the stuff in my bag and just left. I didn’t mean to steal anything! I just wanted to leave and make some space for the other unhappy customers. ‘Excuse me, madam? You haven’t paid. OMG, it was getting worse and worse. I did so as quickly as possible and promptly left the shop.
  • Scaring off Grumpy Boyfriend because I was constantly moaning. Tick, tick, tick and encore tick! Got it? I did it so well that he actually decided to run away from Baba and I. He is now actively looking for his own office and doesn’t want to work from home ever again. I think that Frenchie Mummy deserves a super badge for accomplishing this miracle! And let’s be honest, Baba is partially responsible for it as well. He can be fussy at times so it’s difficult for the other half to concentrate on his job.

What about you mummies? What is the best ever box you ticked? Share with us your best memory. I am sure you have some good ones like that!

In case you forgot!😎 Nominations for the Mumsnet Blogging Awards 2016 are on until 31st July. If you liked this post, I would love you to nominate me for the Best Comic Writer category. It’s very simple; just click on the link above. Merci from a Frenchie blogger 😘

Please, also vote for us in the category NEW BLOGGER ON THE BLOG http://www.teapartybeauty.com/2016/07/bloggersblogawards-2016-voting-now-open.html/?utm_content=buffer10ad5

Diary of an imperfect mumHot Pink Wellingtons
Post Comment LoveYou Baby Me MummyThe Pramshed
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking SundayPetite PuddingMy Random Musings

Life Loving Linkie

If you're happy and you know it, share some Frenchie love 😘

0 thoughts on “A mummy ticks so many boxes

  1. Ha ha – love this perspective on ticking boxes that we never though we would tick. One of mine was talking about the cost of baby wipes – could I be anymore dull – tick! Love reading your posts lovely #ablogginggoodtime

  2. Lol, I can relate to a few of these! I had a similar experience to you with not being dressed properly except I didn’t even have the excuse of mummy-brain at the time. I went out for a posh dinner with my boyfriend (now hubby) and at the end of the evening he said “what’s that hanging out of your dress?” – it was the “SALE” tag with the bargain price I’d bought said dress for written for all to see – I’d completely forgotten to cut it off! So embarrassing! At least mummy-brain gives you a bit of an excuse to forget things. I’ve also accidentally shop-lifted as well! #ablogginggoodtime

  3. Haha I love this, what a brilliant concept of putting a positive spin on it!! I think for me it was when E was 5 months old and it was her first day at a creche while I did this exercise class upstairs. I was super nervous about leaving her and also wanted her to be dressed properly (weird guilt/what will people think if she’s not wearing shoes thing)…so we go to the creche and as I take her out of the car, her entire upper leg is covered in poo. It’s drenched all the way to the car seat which now stinks…it’s gone all up her back so even her vest is sodden. I look in the changing bag and obviously I forgot to pack anything. So I change her nappy (on the front seat) and wrap her in a blanket while I speed round the supermarket for spare clothes…in the end I had to take her to the creche in just her nappy and they were completely fine about it. Tick for mummy? xx #stayclassymama #coolmumclub

  4. oh no! This is so funny, the dress on inside out, forgetting to pay, oh motherhood really takes its toll on us poor women doesn’t it! the amount of times I have left the house wearing who knows what with who knows what on it ahhhhhhhhhh #sharingthebloglove

  5. Haha, I love this, it makes me feel so much better as I can also tick most of these boxes! I also managed to load up the car in a car park after shopping – got the buggy, got the baby, got everything I thought, and happily drove off. To see a man waving wildly in the rearview mirror and pointing at my handbag, just sat there on the tarmac. My Mum and my sister were loading their car up at the same time, so I’ve never lived it down! Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

  6. Going out with poo and vomit on your clothes, check! Its a milestones for Mom I think haha. You will really do things that you never thought you would do. In some days you will cry that you did on some days you will laugh it of. Its so nice to know that one Mom is not alone in experiencing these ‘milestones’ hehe. #pocolo

  7. Ha yes mum’s have many skills, wear many hats and can tick many many boxes. I have had to change my babies bum in the boot on a main road, left the house looking disheveled with clothes on back to front and inside out – you name it with two under I could tick all the boxes in town xx #ablogginggoodtime

  8. Oh this is hilarious! I especially love the dress insude out story!! We have a little independent toy shop in a nearby town which sells beautiful wooden toys. I always buy my goddaughters presents from there. After chatting and shopping and purchasing I realised my car park was about to run out and J and I hurried back to the car. When I put him in the car seat I inadvertendly lifted his sleeve to discover he was holding a small wooden train! I ran back to the shop carrying J apologised profusely and ran back to the car (quite an achievement). I was mortified!

  9. Love this! I have been a mum for nearly 4 years and I have ticked these all off and could add lots too!! The changing in the boot thanks to a massive poo brings back memories I would rather forget ha ha!! Thank you for joining us for #sharingthebloglove

  10. Ha this is great. I can absolutely identify with with leaving the shops without paying (in a non shoplifter sense) once when the babies were tiny I walked out of a supermarket with a whole basket of shopping (actually in the basket – right past the obviously awesome security guard who didn’t even flinch) such was my sleep deprived state. Was embarrassing having to take it back!

  11. I can relate to so much of this. I can top your changing the baby in the boot. I had to empty Oliver’s stoma bag in the boot once. We had nothing with us so ended up taking a pint glass out the pub and using that and had to carry the glass full of poo home very carefully!! #fortheloveofblog

  12. Oh I can have a tick for the nappy change in the boot. But my favourite has to be swapping the baby over on to the other boob and leaving my entire other breast out of the feeding cover. I couldn’t understand why people kept staring at me, I just kept smiling back at them… #kcacols

  13. Lol!! All so true! Tick tick tick for me too!! I did once walk around TK Maxx wearing slippers and didnt notice until I got home. And scooping poo off a museum floor once was something I never expected as part of the Mummy Job Description! #KCACOLS

  14. This post ticks all the right mommy boxes indeed. Nodded my head in agreement to all of them. Mums are everything packed into one super human being! Great post.
    #Momsterlink

  15. goodness, I cant count the amount of times we’ve cleaned b’s bum in the boot of the car haha! some places are just filthy though and id prefer my boot haha! Hope you come back again next Sunday 🙂

  16. I can safely say I can tick almost all of these! I have also managed to lock my six week old baby inside the house by accident (front door slammed shut) and I had to do a comedy climb over the neighbours fence to access the back door (luckily I had left that open) so I could get back inside. Needless to say it was not one of my finest moments especially 6 wks post c-section! #KCACOLS

  17. I love the way you have written this, it is very funny. I think we have all ticked these boxes once or twice (or more!) lol.
    #KCACOLS

  18. How about the slow walk back in to the store where your child pinched a packet of cheese & onion from to apologise profusely for your thieving 18 month old, arghhh, TICK! #PuddingLove

  19. Oh god I’ve ticked so many of these boxes and more. Forgetting The Baby was in the car coz she’d fallen asleep for The Kid to ask where she was? Doh! Full on changed both girls on Asda coz The Baby had a leaky nappy and The Kid thought she had may as well be naked too. I could go on! Love this so much! #KCACOLS

  20. Oh yes I can relate to the clothing one. I accidentally wore my jeans back to front once. I also think that there are lots of babies bottoms being changed in car boots. #mmbc

  21. I think my best one has to be when my son had a tummy bug at about 12 months old. He’d already been sick 2 or 3 times, i’d changed his cot bedding and clothes twice and given up and brought him into my bed on lots of towels. He’d finally fallen asleep lying on my chest but woke up wretching. So that he didn’t get in a state again, I just lifted him up and let him be sick all over me!! It was totally worth it just to be able to wipe his face and lay him back down to sleep without another outfit change! #KCACOLS

  22. Oh Cecile! I’m glad it’s not just me! The cleaning poop in boot one is a definite tick for me. I dread to think how long my list of mummy tick list items would be….I think it would be deserving of a ‘Mummy Tick list badge of honour or something.’ Thanks for sharing. #Fortheloveofblog

  23. Not being bothered to change for the umpteenth time after baby puking all over you, so you end up stinking like something rotten. That’s a box I have ticked a lot lately! #chucklemums

  24. By now I’ve ticked all of those boxes but most recently would be the stopping on the hard shoulder to let the toddler do a wee. That was a fun milestone. The back of my car is now a buggy holder/changing station/loo. Thank god I have a big car. #chucklemums

  25. Haha! just brilliant. I totally relate to these.
    I had the “change the baby in the car” situation. We were driving around a safari park and just going into the lions/tigers enclosures so had to have all of the windows closed. The little one did the biggest poo just at that time, oh my days it wasn’t fun! hehe 🙂

    Thanks so much for being part of the #MMBC Hope to see you next week xx

  26. Ha ha I have also cleaned the baby in the boot and left a shop and left my basket on the floor in there because it was impossible to shop. However my favourite mummy tick is having run out of spare clothes (3 sets) I had to go back into the shop I was using for baby change and purchase a new outfit whilst my baby and mother waited in the baby changing room – she has already had 3 changes!!

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  27. Haha these made me laugh..and nod..I have worn clothes inside out and one very shameful time had yesterdays pants fall out of my trouser legs as we walked to the park. Shame shame shame. I have had my son grab a toy and hold it in a shop I didn’t realise till we were down the street and I had to run back embarrassed! #KCACOLS

  28. Haha, I love this. I’m impressed you’ve managed to scare GB away. I have ticked most of those boxes I’m sure, especially the dealing with enormo-poo’s! #chucklemums

  29. Haha! I’m guilty of them all other than leaving a shop without paying. That sounds so embarrassing, but it’s character building. It’s stressful shopping at peak times so it’s easily done! #thelist

  30. Wait until you have to get the potty out in the boot because there is nowhere for your toddler who’s desperate to poo, to go!! Oh the things we do! Great post! #AnythingGoes

  31. I can check them all. I have been through newborn, toddler, pre-tween, tween, and teenager stages of little lives! Having 5 kids there isn’t a box that I have left unchecked. I love that you wore your dress on inside out. I sometimes do that on purpose with t-shirts if they have a stain on them and I don’t feel like trying to figure out what else to wear lol. My husband on the other hand is always dressed to the nine. Thanks so much for linking up with #momsterslink. You are on fire with the most viewed posts! Hope to see you tomorrow!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *